Look. I’m a fan of snacks - this is not in dispute, and I’d never deny it. That said, I don’t keep snacks in my pockets.
Why are there always crumbs in my pockets?
BWAAAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA...
When even your own robot calls you out, you must be super full of shit @elonmusk.
My latest hobby is to look deep into my Gen Z children's eyes, and say...
"skibbidi toilet ohio rizz"
...and watch them lose their shit.
Me scrambling to check why #BrianMay is trending.
Happy birthday @DrBrianMay.
(Whew!!)
(Every single 30-second drug commercial.)
00:00 - 00:05 -- Do you have this thing literally everyone has? Get this drug!
00:05 - 00:25 -- THIS DRUG WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.
00: 25 - 00:30 -- Ask your doctor for this drug.
Wait time at your local @DiscountTire too long? I bought my tires online, and now they have MOBILE INSTALLATION? (And dude was here within the hour, and done in 30 min.)
Wuuuuut?
Clearly, Jesus is cool with me being a lazy POS. I'm just doing the Lord's work here folks.
Why is it that those who profess their "Patriot" status the loudest, are also the ones who cherry-pick only those parts of the Constitution that fit their agenda?
The Constitution covers a few more topics than merely your right to guns and beer.
I get these every day. I've been ignoring/deleting them, but the volume has picked way up - and now I'm on a Jihad.
If you are a home buyer who conducts business this way, and you reach out to me - be prepared for me to publicly shame you and share your phone number.
FYI @MallonElaine & @dcexaminer - got this text fr @TMobile like MINs after Elaine's post about their breach settlement pmts hit.
They expose my SSN/DL, give a whopping $25 comp - then IMMEDIATELY raise my bill $25/mo (5 lines) - $300/YR!
Not even trying to hide the chicanery.
For some reason, I can never remember Senator #MitchMcConnell's name. Thanks @Google - for never letting me down.
#turtleboy
Didn't we already cover why tariffs don't work?
youtube.com/watch?v=X_wHBlou…
John W retweeted
Replying to @raggapegs
I read Project 2025 and produced this brochure so lazy ass Americans could understand the 922-page Heritage Foundation's Christian Nationalist manifesto.
It is mind blowing that @Netflix isn't even ACKNOWLEDGING the absolute dumpster-fire of their first live-streamed major sporting event - much less apologizing to subscribers and shareholders.
#netflixcrash #netflix #TysonPaul #netflixfightnight











