Jill Goodwin

What is Cinnamon Toast Crunch, if not rodent excrement persevering?

What a celebration!

Wait, you think giving someone the nickname “Sleepy” is going to make them LESS relatable and NOT the perfect candidate to represent us right now? Huh.

nothing but respect for my president bethenny josé frankel andrés

dear god at first glance i thought someone was feeding a penis

“Today’s my confirmation hearing and my father says I can have anything I want.”

“by some person, in some place, at some time” 🙄

nothing but respect for MY orange president

Quite a concentration of “things having jumped the shark”

My 10-year-old niece wanted a Rick Astley themed birthday party so a Rick Astley themed birthday party she received.

Oh now we shouldn’t smile GEEZ WOMEN JUST CAN’T WIN

Florida Man Rides Gator, Touches Lightning, Claims to be President

Finished #TheStaircase and I’m truly impressed by the sheer number of champagne filled bday celebrations a grieving family is able to enjoy

I feel like we’ve made decent headway with your/you’re, but breath/breathe needs everyone’s attention now.

I want to revert to simpler times, i.e. when I knew much less about the Pinkett Smith household

Is this campaign supposed to make me want to buy these clothes or feel better about my faded, ill-fitting wardrobe? xitter.cf/kanyewest/status/10066…

they should do the royal wedding all over again but with pete and ariana

Getting mediocre Yelp reviews for my stabilizers-only restaurant.

We envied your life, but we really needed your voice. Visionary/Ally/New Yorker willing to cut through bullshit Thank you, Mr. Bourdain.