@jaagermistress

Southern and proud, sarcastic and loud, and obviously a fucking poet.

 USA
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Joined August 2011
  • Tweets21.5K
  • Following1.9K
  • Followers2.2K
83Media
Half the people reading your tweets are in the shitter.
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5 nights of camping. All set except for Jägermeister.
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Got my Cologuard kit and now I have performance anxiety.
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Meme Monday.
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Men are just big boys who can afford their own toys.
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Please don’t tell me about your childhood problems, this was my moms cars air conditioning growing up
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I used to be twitter famous. Man, that was the day.
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The Man makes the best amaretto sour.
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Me trying to enjoy the new Avenged Sevenfold album
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Flaming cock. Things my husband says while filing taxes.
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I feel like if you're a game commentator you should at least try to sound neutral. #SuperBowl
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Ooops.
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Egg fish. Caviar. Same thing.
Sometimes the booze hits fast. Other times, an IV is needed.
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Stop telling people there's jizz in the hot tub.
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