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The church: Andy! How can we attract more millennials!?
Me: I dunno, just like, don’t be racist, stop telling people they’re going to hell, live what you pr...
The church: you think we’re racist!? Something MUST be wrong with you! Get out!!!
Me: [goes to Wendy’s ‘cause, whatever]
“Innocent until proven guilty… but, at the same time, we’re gonna lock you up until you prove yourself innocent.” 👍🏼
It’s amazing things like this are legal — no way consuming several of these doesn’t put your life at direct risk.
Be hilarious if in between scripture readings they showed an Amazon commercial… like, “this Christmas Eve service was brought to you by…”
I’m in LA for Black Friday… and, it’s a little busier than normal but, not Black Friday busy… is this concerning? What’s going on? 😅
WOW! Affirmative Action has been overturned… “Data showed [to the Supreme Court] that black applicants were 12 times more likely to be accepted than Asians with similar test scores and GPA.”
I had no idea… 🤯🤯🤯
#AffirmativeAction
“It’s JUST a prank bro”
The prank:
In 2009, a married supporter of Manchester United embarked on a 400-mile journey, anticipating an affair with a woman he had been conversing with on the internet. However, upon arrival at a secluded farm in Scotland, he realized it was a deceptive scheme orchestrated by two Liverpool fans whom he had met while on vacation. Stuart Slann, a 39-year-old individual from Sheffield, had engaged in weeks of online flirtation with a woman named 'Emma,' only to find her absence upon reaching the house. It took three hours before the perpetrators called him, confessing that it had all been an elaborate prank. They recorded the conversation and uploaded it on YouTube and Facebook, along with an embarrassing photo. When Mr. Slann's wife, Louise, 32, discovered his intention to engage in an affair, she ended their marriage.
Tonight really should conclude the debate on who’s better… it’s MJ and always will be MJ. #NBA
Bro sucker punches him from behind (with a weapon) and still somehow loses 🤡
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For every paper straw a restaurant gives me, I’m going to buy an *entire pack* of individually wrapped plastic straws off of Amazon. Enough is enough 😂 #jokes
한 retweeted
A group of Mexican women known as “Las Patronas” who help feed migrants crossing the border
I’m confused… wouldn’t a drag show be classified as freedom of speech…?
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Trump being indicted is doing nothing but IGNITING his constituency… #TrumpArraignment








