We ordered pizza from 7-Eleven. It tasted like regret and cardboard that had been left out in the rain. We felt so bad about wasting it that we offered the leftovers to a stray dog. The dog took one sniff, gave us the dirtiest side-eye known to man, and walked off like, “I’d rather lick a garbage can than eat whatever the fuck that is.” Even the street dog had standards. We didn’t.
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