If I can't say CTC or FFlakes then it's gotta be Cap'n Crunch. Lucky Charms is ass btw. Only the marshmallows make it good. Cereal itself is flavorless and dry af no matter how long you milk soak it.

I've got an empty wrapping paper tube and I'm gonna beat the hell out of my cat with it later tonight cause he's a little freak that likes butt bongos with things like that or empty water bottles.

I ordered a 6pc of the new spicy McNuggets, with their Mighty Hot Sauce, and they gave me 8 McNuggets. THANK YOU GOD.

YOUR MOMMA

Might have to update the lyrics to Barely Breathing now. Bummer. RIP Duncan Sheik.

I'd have a dart

10 years ago I was a happy Cubs fan.

You may think you're fat but if I swipe right on my iPhone screen and it categorizes my apps, DoorDash is the top suggestion under "Productivity."

Once again #AEW #AEWDynamite stop trying to make Gabe Kidd happen.

Jack Links costs $8 for a decent size bag. Sorry, I tried to shorten it.

Ok. Ok. Fine. I admit it. I only go to places like Arby's of Culver's when they send me coupons. Otherwise I stick to a rotation of McDs/BK/Taco Bell. I'm sorry, alright? I'M SORRY. YOU WANNA BREAK ME DOWN? YOU WANNA HEAR ME SAY IT? I CAN'T AFFORD A DOUBLE BUTTERBURGER.

I will now only shop at Kroger after I roll around in fresh mud and dumpster floors that way I get charged as little as possible due to clearly not exuding wealth.

Goodwill finds today.

Dude is Spike from Little Giants all grown up. Love it.

Dude faked to third then continued to the plate. That's a balk what are you blind, blue?