incorrect ushiten

*Ushiten cooking together for the first time* Tendou: You're a baby! Ushijima: I'm three months younger than you! Tendou: A baby! Give me that knife!

*Tendou starts receiving notes from a secret admirer & thinks that they’re for Ushijima & not him* Ushijima, for the 37th time: Those are for you! Not me. Tendou: How could you know that? Why would anyone send me these anyways? Ushijima: I know because I SENT THEM. FOR. YOU!

Teammate: So what's your type? You passed everytime it was your turn. Now I'm curious. Ushijima: *Drunk* My type... is my husband! Orzel Warszawa: ??? Teammate: You're married?? Ushijima: *Nodding proudly, pulling out a Polaroid picture of Tendou blowing a kiss at the camera*

Ushijima: Tendou, I'm tired. Tendou: Okay, goodnight. Ushijima: I said I'm tired. *Suddenly in bed* Tendou, with Ushijima snuggle-clinging to him: Huh, I guess I was tired too.

Ushijima: I love you, okay?!? Tendou: Okay, so the words are really nice, but the tone? The tone is scary.

Kawanishi: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Ushijima: Well Tendou and I– Tendou: *Elbows Ushijima signalling no" Ushijima: ...wouldn't know.

Tendou: I thought that you should stay over tonight. Ushijima: Okay, why? Tendou: Because we’re boyfriends. Ushijima: To do what? Tendou: Tendou: I didn’t plan this far ahead-

Semi: Congratulations. The two of you have just won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics. Ushijima: Tendou: Ushijima: Who won gold?

Tendou: Ten years ago today, I married my best friend. Tendou: Wakatoshi is still really angry about it, but Semi and I were drunk and thought it was funny.

Tendou: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward. Ushijima: I’m worried about letting you take Goshiki to the zoo tomorrow.

*Ushiten as parents* Ushijima, bursting into the room: IT’S MISSING! Tendou, back facing Ushijima: What’s missing? Ushijima: T-the THING! Tendou, turns to face him, baby in his arms: What thing? Ushijima, sighing with relief: Oh there it is. Tendou: Wh- you meant our CHILD?

Tendou: Knock knock. Ushijima: Who’s there? Tendou: When, where? Ushijima: When, where, who? Tendou: Tomorrow night, a restaurant, you and me. Ushijima: O...oh.

Ushijima: If I die first, I promise to wait for you. Tendou: Oh, Wakatoshi. When I die, I'm taking you with me! Ushijima: I can't tell if that's a threat or a compliment. Tendou: I'd think of it more as a grim inevitability!

Ushijima: Nobody thinks Tendou and I are dating. Hoshiumi, turning to everyone else on the court: Put your hand up if you thought Ushijima and Tendou were dating. *Everyone puts their hand up* Ushijima: Ushijima: Tendou why are you raising your hand?

Ushijima: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately. Tendou, seriously: Maybe you’re pregnant. *Sits there in silence for a moment* Ushijima: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You for suggesting that, or me because I almost panicked.

Tendou: Wakatoshi is like ice cream... Reon: Explain? Tendou: Cold but makes me really happy! Reon: Fair enough. Tendou: And... and I can lick him— Yamagata, wheezing: TENDOU

Tendou: If I make Wakatoshi breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need. Tendou: Not all this "how did you get into the dorms" business.

Ushijima: Aside from me, who’s the most attractive person you know? Tendou: This isn’t a trick question, right? You’re not going to get weird about it? Ushijima: No, I will not. Tendou: Fine, it’s Iwaizumi. *Later that day* Iwaizumi: Hey! Ushijima: Oh, hello, homewrecker.

Semi: So, did you kiss him? Tendou: No, the moment wasn’t right. Tendou: Look Wakatoshi could be my future husband, I want our first kiss to be amazing. Shirabu: Aww that’s so sweet. So, you chickened out like a little bitch.

Ushijima: Come on, let's go to bed. Tendou: Alright, just give me a second. Ushijima: Are you going to make me twist your arm? Tendou: Please do.