The funny thing about Muslims mocking the crucifixion of Jesus is that according to the Quran itself, the reason we all think Christ was crucified is because “Allah made it appear so.” So the reason that over 2.3 billion people are Christians is because of Allah.

Inflation is a funny thing. Let me educated you Ronu morons how it works. I’m probably wasting my time, but what the hell? I’m bored. So price is determined by demand and supply. I know this is too big of concept for you people to understand, so let me break it down. See, when people demand more orange than is available, orange sellers have no choice to raise prices. They are not wicked. It’s just that they don’t have enough orange to satisfy to those demanding it. So it’s only logical for them to raise prices. “But Nigerians are poor. How is there so much demand?” I hear you ask? Oh now you are having sense. But more supply than demand is not only due to increased demand. It can also be to supply falling short of demand. That is, there is not enough oranges in the market and people really want this orange. “So why is there shortage of oranges?” Good question. If you’ve ever run a business in your life, you will know there’s something called cost. Cost is how much it takes the orange seller to get that orange to the market. So if the orange seller has to go into the bush, evade kidnappers, go through bad roads and can’t store these oranges efficiently, the seller will supply less oranges than they usually do. These oranges will not meet the demand and because the cost to get them to the market is so high, they will increase the prices. So an Ooni going to the market to declare that they don’t increase prices is a waste of time. They have to cover the cost it took them to get those oranges to the market and make a profit so they can feed their families. So they won’t even listen to the Ooni. So what if the Ooni decides to force them to sell at a price they will make a loss? They will rather stop selling oranges all together because if they do, they won’t make any money and might even make a loss. So the best thing is to not do the business at all which will lead to even less oranges in the market which means even higher prices. This my children, is why price fixing is a bad idea and only makes things worse. So what is the solution? This is where your lord and saviour Tinubu comes in. He has to make sure that orange seller gets to the market with very little cost. How will he do this? Make sure the seller has no stress getting the oranges. Make sure when that seller goes into the bush to get the oranges, there are no kidnappers there. Make sure the roads to the market aren’t that bad that transportation price is higher than usual. Make sure fuel price is low so the bus doesn’t charge the seller exorbitantly. Make sure the seller has enough storage facilities to store the oranges so they don’t get bad. If he can do all these, prices will drop. Thank you for reading. PS: I’m not Igbo. Please don’t tell me to go back to Anambra. I’m not even in Nigeria.

Why are we always happy when animals escape their predators? Imagine you are about to kill that chicken for Christmas and it pecks out your eye and escapes? We need to have a little sympathy for hungry animals. Smh