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look, all i'm saying is that boston has brookline completely flanked, it would be a tactical mistake to :not: attack it
Ozzy Osbourne: ALL ABOOOOARD
Me: Oh good. Cool. What's this song called, Normal Train.
(A bunch of scary guitars and stuff start happening)
Me: Uh oh
"let's circle back on that"
✖️ Lacks next steps
✖️ Corporate jargon
✖️ Weak-willed
"let's settle this in a Boneyard Match"
✅ Actionable resolution
✅ Life and death stakes
✅ They will remember you and they will fear you
i can't believe i made it to 2020 and THIS is the thing that drove me to use twitter's mute feature for the first time
People in the US: “omg wet markets, coronavirus, gross, I’m scared!”
Also people in the US: “allow me to introduce you to the 30 raccoons I’ve been regularly handfeeding outside my front door”
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do yourself a favor this morning and read the following wikipedia articles, in order: 'bagel', 'montreal-style bagel', 'new york style bagel'
conservative: Greta Thunberg should be ignored. She's just a kid. She's no expert.
me: Ok, so do you listen to the climate scientists and the IPCC?
con: Well no
me: Who then?
con: There's this youtuber called The Patriotic Gamer. He's my main source on climate science.
interviewer: you have a 3 year gap on your resume that just says “vengeance”
me:
interviewer:
me: you don’t remember me do you?
its 9 o clock, im the piano man
and im in the bar that im in
theres a piano man sitting next to me
and im playing piano with him
shout out to gumbopages.com/ , the website i used to teach myself how to cook in 1996, which is a) still kicking! and b) still very web 1.0
he's makin a list
it's kept in plain text
an elf just got phished
you know what is next
santa claus has leaked 2.2 billion user's names, addresses, naughty/nice statuses, and the times they are asleep in their homes















