24 year old New England comedian and sketch comedy writer
Massachusetts, USA
Joined July 2020
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- Following241
- Followers215
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Can’t wait till my college calls to check in on their alumns and I can tell them about the sick sandwhich shop that just hired me
Holly Johnston retweeted
Gen Z dresses like a toddler who dressed themself and their mom was like, “Is that what you want to wear?!? Heels, a hockey jersey, and a bucket hat?? For a hike?! Okkkk. Let’s go!”
What I thought I’d be doing in Austin:
-Seeing pro comics perform every night
-Hitting 4-5 sets a night
-Getting booked a lot
What I’m actually doing:
-Drinking
-Looking for parking
-Getting scammed by the homeless
-Being comic #95 at an open mic
-Drinking again
Guy: this bike helmet hasn’t been protecting me the way I thought it would
Elected official: ok but have you tried wearing two bike helmets?
Describe yourself as a millennial/gen z in one sentence. I’ll go first:
I put on a podcast just to empty the dishwasher
Store manager: you better say “happy holidays” or you’re fired.
store music: HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS
What I said in 2019 vs. what 2020 heard
#corona #covid_19 #comedy #covidjokes #2020 instagram.com/p/CIkHsvigJ5l/…
Holly Johnston retweeted
Episode171: Recorded at the @WSOCFestival, host @dbublitzcomedy talks with @hjohnstoncomedy about analysing sets. Plus more! Please share, rate, & review! theartofbombing.libsyn.com/e…
Holly Johnston retweeted
Republicans & Democrats should stop fighting over their differences and instead bond over their similarities, like how neither side can take a joke.