Captain retweeted
so you are the jummie? 😳😳😳
You like gist, abi? So yeah, my ex broke up with me and I couldn’t accept it. It was hard to process that the relationship was just ending like that. I stayed indoors for more than four days without eating. Then I noticed he had blocked me, so I went to his house. He refused to talk to me. He left the house and I followed him. When he ordered a ride, I got in with him. He dragged me out of the car onto the expressway. Because I hadn’t eaten in days, I got dizzy and fell immediately. People around had to carry me from the floor.
Captain retweeted
This just reminded me of when my uncle in the village gifted me a pet tortoise😂
It was so clingy that I had to keep it in a calabash inside my wardrobe😭😂
Captain retweeted
AH NIGERIA
The Nigeria Government has signed a medical aid agreement with the United States of America. The US will supply free vaccines and drugs worth $3 billion to Nigeria in aid to tackle malaria and other threatening ailments. Nigeria Government will provide $2.1 billion as a counterpart fund. The condition from USA is that NAFDAC must not review the vaccines and drugs. That is, NAFDAC should never attempt to test the vaccines and drugs. And the Government of Nigeria under Ahmed Tinubu signed it. Ghana rejected it. Other African countries rejected it, whereas others careless as Nigeria accepted it.
The same USA has been complaining about the surging population growth of Africa, moreover that of Nigeria. I pity those that'll take the medication because it's free. What I owe my relatives wherever they're is to inform them of the dangers of taking such free vaccines and drugs. If you inform your own relatives as well, the expected mortality rate through the vaccines and drugs will be abrogated. APC has done us a dirt...
Captain retweeted
Hitler closed child brothels, banned pornography, banned transgenderism, & ended poverty.
Jews started ALL those things
How was he the bad guy?
Captain retweeted
Day by day, I tend to agree with the virgin-or-nothing folks.
My wife and I take our usual evening walk, talking about our day, though mostly she shares highlights of her clients.
A lady married to a good guy fucked her pastor. When he started blackmailing her, she and her husband moved to another church, and she’s fucking the new pastor.
Her reason: “My husband is a good guy but he doesn’t get it sexually,” and this new pastor does.
There’s a level a woman gets to sexually. If you can’t get her there as her husband, she’ll keep looking for that high. Even if the gateman takes her there, she’ll respect him more than you.
But I still hold my belief: anyone in Christ is a new creation. You can renew your mind; you can unfuck a good fuck but it takes a miracle and I believe in miracle.
Selah!!
It is completely normal!!!
You can’t have been tied to a chair, spat on and fucked roughly with tramadol. Yet, expect memories will not resurface!!!
No man on earth, no matter how rich, caring and thoughtful he is, can unfuck a good fuck.
But do not worry, there are many “real” men who would simply focus on our character, barring what you honestly feel and the memories you have of other men.
At the end of the day, virginity does not guarantee good character!!! 💅🏽
Captain retweeted
This delivery man delivered something to me, and I paid him while he was waiting for the alert and packaging his other packages. He heard someone over the phone telling me Happy birthday. He asked me, " Boss, is today your birthday and I said yes and he asked me for cake I told him there’s no cake but I have food and I invited him inside to eat.
As we were eating he was telling me how difficult life is as a dispatch rider. After the conversation, he stylishly asked me what phone I was using and I told him and he said “You be boss oh”
The man left and came back this evening to hand me a brand new screen guard and a new phone cover for my phone and said it is the only gift he can give me as a birthday gift.
He doesn’t even know what he did for me today with that gift. I think I cried a little after he left.
I won’t forget that guy in this lifetime💯
Captain retweeted
A woman returns to modeling SIX WEEKS after giving birth - ass out on a runway.
And you all clap. STRONG! POWERFUL! INSPIRING! MOTHER!
But let her husband ask for a home-cooked meal TWO MONTHS after birth...
Suddenly he's TOXIC. SELFISH. ABUSIVE. He treats her like a SLAVE!
So she can starve herself, wear heels, and walk for strangers and a fashion company - that's empowerment.
But cooking for her own husband who pays the bills and stayed with her through the pregnancy - that's oppression?
Make it make sense.
Postpartum is an excuse when it benefits her HOUSEHOLD.
Postpartum is invisible when it benefits a CORPORATION.
She can work for a company, but not for her family.
That's not feminism. That's just selfishness with a feminist filter.
You don't have principles. You have feelings. And your feelings change depending on who benefits - you or your family.
You are loyal to nothing but the moment.
just want everyone to know this woman gave birth only SIX weeks ago. barbara palvin you are everything
#VSFashionShow
Captain retweeted
They're still doing the same thing they did in the Epstein Files. Just different location and name.
Captain retweeted
I am about to cast a very important way the female brain operates.
“The Female Recency Theory”
A woman’s appreciation of a man’s gestures is inversely proportional to how long ago he made them.
If you had to choose between starting a business for a woman and giving her gifts randomly over time, go for the latter.
Women don’t know how to hold on to the emotional gratification of things you did a long time ago. They’re often more influenced by recent experiences.
For instance, if you set up a business for her with ₦3 million in 2020, but from then until 2026, you suddenly became stingy, she might end up resenting you.
You’d probably be better off spreading that ₦3 million across six years, consistently doing thoughtful things for her along the way. She’ll love you more for that.
This is how 90% of them think.
Captain retweeted
Why do religious people fear the worst when the doctor says, “It’s in God’s hands now”?
Shouldn’t that give you more confidence instead? 😅
Captain retweeted
Since Lindsay Clancy:
82 mothers have killed 123 of their own children.
37 MORE mothers tried.
52 children survived.
These are just the ones that made the local news.
Every time, the same excuse: Postpartum. Hormones. Psychosis.
NO.
Hormones are not a defense and the mothers are not the victims.
The children are.
The moment we call the killer a victim, the children never get justice.
Someone has to speak for them.
So I will.
America, we have a problem.
Captain retweeted
Wanna know what premium life is??
Go to a family of just women. I’m talking mum and five daughters!!
Whip out a budget for them!! Start with one of the daughters. Make sure you do something for her that’s gonna make the others feel jealous. Yes!! Women are that unintelligent!
As you dey package that one, secretly tell her you don’t want her sisters to know about you cos if they know, they’ll most likely wanna start toasting you.
Her gullible ass will believe you!
Once you’ve got her on chokehold, move to the other sisters and do the same thing.
And when you get to the mum, splurge and fuck her good!! Your preeq na chain, use am well!!!
At the end of the day, you’ll have them on a roster!!
Amaka on Monday
Cynthia on Tuesday
Victoria on Wednesday
Francisca on Thursday
precious on Friday
Anuli on Saturday cos I mean, weekends is for happiness 🤷♂️
Even if the matter later cast, one or two of them go still dey hang around dey deliver toto to you when you need am.
