Hannah

Quarantine has shown me that you really don’t need fun to have alcohol

The perfect gift doesn’t exi-

Someone: “Are you upset?” Me: “No.” Me:

Me @ my toddler: “you have to stop putting the play-doh in your mouth” His brother:

Me on October 31 vs November 1

No Shave November No Sleep Regression November No Hand Foot Mouth November No Money November No You Cannot Have A Popsicle For Breakfast November

If you don’t want my kids there then I’m not going to be in pictures

this october is rlly octobering the way previous octobers haven’t octobered.

My toddler: (points to menu) and the bath water, is that contaminated in-house?

I might not be the coolest, smartest or prettiest but for sure I’m the most psychotic.

An extra month of October would be great

I am haunting of hill house sun | widows bay moon | as above so below rising

baby girl you’re a haunting of hill house don’t let anyone treat you like an american horror story

How I think people see me when I tell them my husband is a month and a half younger than me

“What am I going to be for Halloween?” Overstimulated, probably. Yelling at my boys to stop climbing things that were never intended to be climbed.

I wish my bank account was as high as my screen time

How many monster trucks is normal to carry in a purse please say twelve

Romanticizing October one fictional homicide at a time

reconnecting with Halloween decorations because nature didn’t work

My toddlers deciding who gets to terrorize me first