Z-13 • 💜💉 "Hadal"

I’m bad at posting, and it’s not because I don’t have anything to say. It’s because I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I’ll read what I wrote and think, “Does this really add anything to the conversation? Are my thoughts even worth saying?” Then I delete it and tell myself, “I’ll post when I have something better.” I’ve been pretty open about this before, but I have major depressive disorder and anxiety. Things have been getting better, especially since joining the VTuber community (yay!), but I still struggle a lot with feeling inadequate. Because of chronic illness, I’ve spent the last 5+ years pretty isolated. I think that changed how I value myself because I used to be a confident person, but now it feels like I hold myself to a standard I’d never expect from anyone else. Like I have to be funny, insightful, interesting, and somehow “worth the timeline” before I earn the right to hit ‘Send’. The weird thing is… I actually like who I am. I like that my brain comes up with weird topics. I like that I’m kind. I like that I’m willing to speak up when something matters. I’m proud that I don’t easily compromise the things I believe in, and I genuinely love how deeply I can empathize with people. Knowing all of that doesn’t magically make posting easier. So I’m forcing myself to post this anyway. I’m in therapy and doing a lot of self-reflection, and this is basically exposure therapy. Even if nobody reads this or if it doesn’t resonate with anyone, even if it disappears into the void.. My words should matter to me first. And send. ♥️

🎉 Surprise! 🎉 My birthday AND my Vtuber debut are both on August 27! To celebrate this very special day, we’ll be hosting a community charity event where we’ll be donating all the proceeds to one of these charities! Please help me decide on a charity: Links below 🌈✨