I caught my first tube this morning

London
Joined May 2013
Sad to see the remaining members for daft punk hunted for sport
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My wife left me home alone with the kids to go out drinking with her friends. A lesser man might whine and complain, but instead I'm just playing Chumbawamba's 1997 hit "Tubthumping" over and over and over. On the jukebox at their bar. Using the TouchTunes app.
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“Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone,” mother would say, going upstairs. But I couldn’t help myself. I sneaked in and watched him. Watched him make his stupid little peach shoes, taunting. “Nobody’s going to wear those,” I’d say. “They’re stupid.” But on he worked.
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Zoom have started pop-up ads
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Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
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Today is Ryan Gosling's birthday, which means it's time to rewatch one of the best #SNL skits of all time. #Papyrus
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My cartoon in the latest ⁦@PrivateEyeNews⁩
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Lil G-Pug retweeted
me: this is my horse mayo friend: he’s not even a white horse me: yah but watch this mayo: [neighs]
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[cloudy weather] simba: lot of dead dads out today
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Me: Is the natural state of the soul quiet or chaos? Taco Bell cashier: Look buddy, it’s transient, shifting like water
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[prison riot] *standing over my origami ducks* "GO AROUND! GO AROUND!"
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Lil G-Pug retweeted
hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
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HER: Im breaking up with u ME: Is it because I say "Uh Oh Spaghetti O's" when things go wrong? HER: Ya ME:(under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's
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"I'll take 'song lyrics' for $200, Alex." Alex Trebek: The Beatles famously sang that this is "all you need." Haddaway: [just fucking smashing the buzzer so hard]
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Lil G-Pug retweeted
God *creates a worm* hello little buddy! Worm: Thanks for the "worm" welcome haha God *creates birds*
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be careful sharing the Zoom invite
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