☆

my friend did Alex from Target but covered in blood. ?

guy trying to flirt with me last night told me I look like a fatter che guevara

accidentally smoked the weed that makes ripping your balls off feel amazing

I romantically love a lot of you in a big way

if your problem is that you're a creep and you want to be different then you could probably start by not saying things like "your skin makes me cry"

does anybody know how much we're supposed to endure today

at disneyland the bathroom gloryholes are shaped like micky mouse's head

imagine if there was a scintillating conversation

im banned from laser tag for pistol whipping everyone

if you're still in line to fuck kbkills STAY IN LINE!!!!

my favorite thing about the overblown reaction to Obama's cheesecake factory line us that they're taking issue with his stance on Cheesecake factory and not the fact he compared Trump to Saddam Hussein

my life is so awesome (not pictured: pesto salmon i made for dinner and had with a lovely chardonnay)