Forgive me father, for I know my code will be inherited throughout the earth, and I fear for them.

Forgive me father, for I now prefer a visual editor. I know I am breaking your 7th commandment of 'Thou shall not not vim', and I'm sorry.

Forgive me father, for I clicked NEXT on a Google search instead of writing the function myself.

Forgive me father, for I have an email filter for 'Hound', and now I have spaces and blank lines everywhere. #totalchaos

Forgive me father, for I have committed tabs in lieu of spaces, and though they may look the same to mere mortals, thine eyes see all.

Forgive me father, for I wear headphones solely to have an excuse not to hear the commands from on high.

Forgive me father, for I have not treated my body as a temple, and my bloodstream is now mostly coffee and energy drinks.

Forgive me father, for I have written yet another "What is a monad?" blog post, though they already outnumber the stars in the sky.

Forgive me father, for I have said "A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors" and meant it.

Forgive me father, for I have prematurely optimized.

Forgive me father, for I have defiled the innards of this class a most sinful manner to appease the false gods of performance.

Forgive me father, for I have misplaced my Starbucks then falsely accused my coworkers of stealing it.

Forgive me father, for I have forgotten to write first the test `it "does not take over the universe"` and... well...

Forgive me father, for I have cast judgement while pairing with a coworker who used PHP syntax. I will cast the first stone.

Forgive me father, while pairing with a coworker, I used PHP syntax by accident, and now I fear being stoned.

Forgive me father, for I have lied about forgetting to test IE. Truthfully, I have foregone it altogether and instead judge its users.

Forgive me father, for I have metaprogrammed until, like the Tetragrammaton, no method is called by its true name.

Forgive me father, for I made an EmberQuery Node App with a Go backend divided into micro-services with a Mongo/Angular hybrid DB and Scala.

Forgive me father, for my Wordpress site is consistently two-to-three point release updates behind current.

Forgive me father, for though I am married to Vim, I have lied in bed with many an editor, & now use Emacs w/ a mode named for my sins, Evil