@jenpies just planning ahead here: can we be garth and kat for halloween? media.zenfs.com/en-US/video/…

lack of CSS support by email clients (& many in the browser) is so dumb. embarrassing that we're still writing tables in emails in 2015.

the older i get, the more i appreciate urban dictionary.

#haunty #pleasedontfall @jenpies instagram.com/p/m-jb1OBHe-/

hell is the dealership service center on a saturday morning.

When you get close to 3/4 of the way through a book and you're still not that interested :/

Big ups to homeowner @RULESxORDER for going out in downpour to dig leaves out of an impacted sewer grate for the sake of his property. 😘

Picking up Potato the chinchilla for vacation at Aunt Beth and Uncle Ben's. @jenpies: "alright, let me go get my son."

Making calzones and the dough didn't cover all the filling. Just went with it. Abstract cooking. #notevenclose

@jenpies she loved Whitney Houston as much as we did at that moment.

@jenpies it feels fancy to talk business with you. I also love it.

My kale chips just turn to dust and give me dry mouth. #FirstWorldProblems

@jenpies look for one with unlimited mileage. I think ace rent a car offers that. Look for coupon codes also.

Something about me must say "hey small children! Come talk to me! Tell me all about your pets!" Because that happens all. the. time.

If you let your arm extend over the armrest into another passenger's space, you are a monster.

@gilomen2: @ajaWK do not listen to @RULESxORDER. He is clearly wrong. Lime skittles 4eva.

"Are you tweeting about how you found a stud like a man? Look how good I know you!" @RULESxORDER