genuine☆domains • few wags short of a full tail • 㕦/
Golden Horseshoe, Canada
Joined April 2011
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If you were reincarnated as a man-made material, which would you least choose?
0%toilet paper
0%toothpick
0%socks
0%other (reply in post)
0 votes • 6 days
benj retweeted
Thou art a boil upon the arse of Christendom, a pox-ridden turnip with the wit of a damp sackcloth. Thy sword is duller than thy mother's cooking, thy horse would rather carry a sack of cabbages than thy sorry hide, and even the village idiot crosses the street to avoid thy conversation. The plague itself took one look at thee and said, "Nay, I have standards."
everyone always shows up at the four way stop at the same time yet 30 seconds earlier there was no one there
the secret to good tasting potatoes is a load of butter and sprinkles of salt. i won't die on that hill because imagine your epitaph "he still believed in potatoes while no one could afford the secret"
i hate shaving and six hours later there's this rebel hair and i'm like "hah, gotcha" but then its children pop up everywhere
