Uncle Gary’s Parole Officer (@garysparole) profile picture

Uncle Gary’s Parole Officer

@garysparole

Full-time parole officer for Uncle Gary. Keeping Gary out of the State of Florida since 1997.

 Toccoa, GA
Joined September 2017
  • Tweets1.7K
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  • Followers453
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The most beautiful haiku I’ve ever read.
カシューナッツ@五条 (@kasyuunattu_mai) profile pictureカシューナッツ@五条@kasyuunattu_maiMar 29
Replying to @FiredUpCoug
でかい肉は美味しさだけじゃない。夢が詰まってるんだよ。
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Faytuks Network (@FaytuksNetwork) profile pictureFaytuks Network
@FaytuksNetworkNov 4
FL-13: US Representative Anna Paulina Luna (R) leads Democrat Leela Gray by 912 votes, 49.26% to 48.95%, with 94% of the vote in - NYT
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“I demand to be taken seriously.”
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AF Trooper (@AFT_Groyper) profile pictureAF Trooper
@AFT_GroyperNov 2
Groyper kicked out of Vivek event
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Josh Pate (@JoshPateCFB) profile pictureJosh Pate
@JoshPateCFBNov 1
People will answer Georgia and then Georgia fans will laugh at them and explain how Mike Bobo sucks Unprecedented times
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As someone who has spent most of their lifetime in these two states, I can say this is 100% bullshit. Also, “Stella Artoes” is some amazing AI slop.
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The Data of Everything (@TheDataHubX) profile pictureThe Data of Everything
@TheDataHubXNov 1
🇺🇸 Most Popular Beer in Each U.S. State
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Them Dawgs is Hell, Mr. Secretary. Go Dawgs!
Secretary Marco Rubio (@SecRubio) profile pictureSecretary Marco Rubio
@SecRubioOct 31
Happy to introduce my fellow foreign ministers to the quintessential American sport of football and welcome them to #GatorNation.
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Image from Secretary Marco Rubio (@SecRubio)
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This is what peak masculinity looks like.
Everything Georgia (@GAFollowers) profile pictureEverything Georgia
@GAFollowersOct 30
Former Atlanta Falcons head coach June Jones passed away yesterday at 73. He coached the team from 1994 to 1996, leading the Falcons to the playoffs in 1995.
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Nice to see what’s in common between two of our greatest presidents. Also, this list is incomplete without President Franklin.
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Image from Uncle Gary’s Parole Officer (@garysparole)
Josh Barzon (@JoshuaBarzon) profile pictureJosh Barzon
@JoshuaBarzonOct 29
The Church Denomination and/or Affiliation of each U.S. President.
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The replies are gold.
Senate Republicans (@SenateGOP) profile pictureSenate Republicans
@SenateGOPOct 28
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Anyone who ranks ATL low is just really bad at airports. Putting CLT above it is just silly. Putting IAD at B tier is insanity.
TNS | Tento @ Midwest Mixfest 2026 (@Tento4_) profile pictureTNS | Tento @ Midwest Mixfest 2026@Tento4_Oct 27
Airport Tierlist My word is law
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TIL you can legally drink and drive in Bermuda, apparently.
unavailable
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Which way, Southern Man?
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Starting to think Gunner really got his bell rung on that first play of the game.
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Bumping this for no particular reason.
Uncle Gary’s Parole Officer (@garysparole) profile pictureUncle Gary’s Parole Officer@garysparole20 Dec 2025
Replying to @Hans76908189 @DawgNation
Don’t worry, Agent Muschamp never fails in his assignments.
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Image from Uncle Gary’s Parole Officer (@garysparole)
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Oh God, it gets better. xitter.cf/ap/status/211127404767…
Uncle Gary’s Parole Officer (@garysparole) profile pictureUncle Gary’s Parole Officer@garysparoleOct 9
I see we are at the “piss on Lyndsey Graham’s grave” stage of the grieving process.
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Imagining the Bluegreen people at Bass Pro talking Count Dracula into a timeshare in Pigeon Forge.
samantha (@babymyapologies) profile picturesamantha@babymyapologiesOct 16
Dracula’s realtor is the kind of thing you’d think is a joke, maybe an SNL sketch. But actually it’s just the real premise of Dracula
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“You did it. You crazy son of a bitch, you did it. You invented the world’s first completely uninsurable car.”
unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) profile pictureunusual_whales
@unusual_whalesOct 16
BREAKING: The new Tesla, $TSLA, Roadster flew over other Tesla vehicles:
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Just got a message from an Auburn fan.
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Coach’s tag game is unrivaled.
Three Year Letterman (@3YearLetterman) profile pictureThree Year Letterman
@3YearLettermanOct 12
Today is a day where we need to focus on facts, not emotions. And the facts are that, 600 years ago, at this very hour, a British explorer named Christopher Columbus disembarked from the Mayflower and discovered the United States of America after having set sale from London
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This guy is the Babe Ruth of stepping in dogshit and then doubling down, tripling down. A comedy goldmine.
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Someone got a case of the Drippy Drops. The Dose. The Clap.
no context college football (@nocontextcfb) profile pictureno context college football
@nocontextcfbOct 11
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