I'm old enough to remember that in porn they used to yell "climax" before they came.

At this point in walking dead they HAVE to smell just as bad as the zombies.

Seriously, are we done with the term "douche" yet?

"The only way that car is worth 500 bucks is if there's a $300 hooker in the back." -Saul Goodman

Are we gonna do an LL lip lick count? And if so, what's the over under? #ApTweets #Grammy2015

32 and I still can't grow a beard. However, most of hair is grey. So I have that.

Something tells me that the guy that played Zack Morris wears a lot of hats. #SavedByTheBell

I LOVE when old people put "the" in front of a disease. Like "Vance has the AIDS." Or "Janice got the tennis elbow."

@deejayndn is the groundhog gay? Cause then they'd be kinda torn.

The odds of me making anything of myself are slim to none. There is no punchline to that.

Pat Riots. #SuperBowI

That catch was like Green Bay vs. Minnesota a decade ago.

What a grab!! #SuperBowI

The Blacklist is a spin off of The Office, right?

Lynch should fake a concussion on the last play to avoid the media. #SuperBowI

Pete Carroll looks like a used car salesman. #SuperBowl

I can't wait to not hear what Lynch has to say after the game. #SuperBowl

Celebration penalties. Fines for not doing interviews. Go fuck yourself NFL.

Katy Pary. The more you know. #SuperBowl