flex retweeted
🚨 #BREAKING: OpenAI warns employees that spies could be trying to seduce them; women may not be with them for their personalities.
📍Silicon Valley, CA
“If she’s a 6 or above in San Francisco she’s a spy” warned one commentator.
flex retweeted
"Oh this? This is just an entity from the nether realm I summoned by enscribing runes on magic stones I forged in a sacred kiln, then proceeded to cast certain spells to distill the collective conscious to imbue it into the substrate. Don't worry, it doesn't have a soul."
flex retweeted
Taylor Swift released the single “Patient Zero” on September 25, 2026. That same day a 28 year old technician at the Irkutsk Anti Plague Research Institute reportedly broke a test tube containing live plague bacteria. She was hospitalized days later with severe pneumonia and died October 2, 2026, the same day “Patient Zero” reached No. 1 on the U.K. Official Singles Chart.
BREAKING: 🚨 Quarantines Expand in Russia after laboratory ACCIDENT AND DEATH involving a dangerous pathogen in Siberia.
The uncertainty surrounding the incident has fueled questions about the transparency of the Russian government's response.
Some local warnings and reports about the situation were reportedly DELETED after publication.
flex retweeted
This story got me fucked up rn 💔
This nigga Jimmy was going to bed every night smiling and kicking his feet that his new internet BEST FRIEND was a food fanatic like himself.
Someone finally willing to listen to him.
Jimmy confessed being fat and using a new diet to lose weight.
He confided in Zach.
Cared for him…
Even asked, “Have you ate today?”
Do you know how hard it is to make friends when you’re a PROFESSIONAL MONEY LAUNDERER for the most cutthroat government mafia?
You can’t talk to anyone about anything BUT cash.
But Zach… Zach was different.
Most of you will read this and see Jimmy express impatience, asking Zach for “more business.”
It wasn’t that he needed more business,
It was simply that he wanted someone to talk with. A real human interaction.
He wanted an excuse to get a conversation going again.
Zach was everything he knew outside of washing funds, a real friend…
And what happened?
His “American coffee” e-bestfriend has put a dagger right through his back.
#TheyGoneKillJimmy4Being2Friendly
💔💔💔💔💔💔
~ Dr. Axius.
11/ Throughout our conversations, Jimmy and I had a lot of small talk in between discussing laundering for DPRK.
He talked about playing mahjong, hunting wild rabbits, food, his fat reducing meal, family life, and vacations at Disney.
(His awkward grammar can be explained by the use of a translator)
