not to be a self obsessed bitch but paris looks good on me

today i ran 14 miles and harvested probably over 200 cherry tomatoes from my garden

the cost of my chicago marathon: 6 gu gels: $2.50 bandit top: $87 janji half tights: $0 asics metaspeed edge: $0 bandit socks: $0 nike sunglasses: $0 cricut iron ons: $5 star clips: $4 bose headphones: $0 stryd pod: $0 coros watch: $0 coros hrm: $0 total: $98.50

i love the threads app because people will accuse me of rage baiting when i talk about how i ran 19 miles the day before i ran the chicago marathon 🤪 baby i’m training for a 100 miler this is like… a normal week for me right now

can we all agree that the “fuck ice” shorts for the chicago marathon go hard?

don’t worry i came up with something and he replied, so far i’ve managed to be super cool and chill about it

chat if you hypothetically matched (on a dating app) with a musician who you are a big fan of & you have a ticket to their upcoming tour… what on earth do u send as a first message without feeling like a total psychopath

got the most important part of my chicago marathon outfit sorted 👍

boston marathon cutoff discourse can’t hurt me if i wear my boston shirt on my jog

not sure what this says about me tbh

unfortunately for me i did cave and get back on raya

i was Really Mature and Smart today and did not run 5 extra miles to put me over 100 miles for the week and i’m very proud of myself and everyone else should be too

posting for my loyal fans (@Wade_in_America)

i posted a photo of the cookies i made for my Cocaine Bear film viewing party tomorrow night and instagram removed it & restricted my account until sept 11 2027 because i was “selling illegal drugs” DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR

5 minute PR yeah

another coworker liking me on a dating app

this portion of my hinge profile is like fucking CATNIP to a certain genre of man (specifically the nic cage part)

ran a 5 minute half marathon PR (1:33!) today at 6,000 ft with no taper while averaging 80 mpw for the last 7 weeks. manifesting doping allegations for myself this year 🙏✨🙂‍↕️

the weird part about being the High Mileage Runner in your training group is that every time you mention your weekly mileage everyone else starts justifying why theirs is lower than yours or asking if you think they’re lazy 😭 brother i don’t give a fuck what you do!! let me live