trying out some new tweets

Joined February 2013
You could be my black Elizabeth Holmes tonight
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My welcome to the nba moment was when the guy at the door scanned my ticket and welcomed me
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Austin retweeted
Replying to @PaulMcCartney
@PaulMcCartney Im drunkkkkkk
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Austin retweeted
Just found out about recency bias. Maybe the most important bias ever
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in america you will be mocked if you only spend money that is actually in your bank account
You use a debit card at 31 years old
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Austin retweeted
after making a noose and hanging it from a ceiling beam i realized i love working with rope. now i make artisanal nooses and travel the country selling them at county fairs. I love my life!
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You Can See Everything more like Me And My Gay Cocaine Husband Need Some Lip Balm
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Listening to a cormack mccarthy audiobook and the narrator is getting way too into it like he’s doing adam sandler old lady voices for the characters, this is supposed to be a dark american frontier epic
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Guy who signs up for a critical race theory class thinking it’s going be about phrenology and brings a textbook from the 1800s
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The only emojis i’ve used in the past 3 years are 🫡 and 🙏 but I use them for everything
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You Can See Everything is a modern rom com with a metrosexual overly controlling boyfriend and a technocrat autistic girlfriend who is going to prison
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doing karoake night to the entire album sophtware slump by grandaddy
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Watching lamelo here is fascinating because you can see he is looking around for another ball to play with out of jealosy, can’t find one, then gets the ball from anthony edwards. it’s like when a child see you playing with a toy and then wants it.
"We gon foul the shit out you" #heard
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the two thoughts that you must hold in your head: 1. i am not better than anyone else. i am a product of the random life circumstances that have accumulated and made me who i am today. 2. i am objectively better than the person talking to gpt about airport cava.
boy next to me asked chat gpt can he bring his cava on the flight and now he’s having a full on kii with the bot
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LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT I am aware that this Dave & Busters was once owned by Brinker Restaurant Group Inc. and is now owned by BlackRock Advisors LLC
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Goth girls walking their dogs with a leash that just connects their collars
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For the record I’m anti forced circumcision #letthebabydecide
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