You seek a spiritual father, but are you prepared to listen to him? There are people who travel hundreds of kilometers in search of a skilled spiritual father, knock on the doors of monasteries, and run after words of benefit, hoping to meet a man of God who will light their path. It is the longing of a soul that no longer wants to wander alone. But I wonder: once you have found him, are you ready to listen to him? It is one thing to look for a spiritual father and another to allow yourself to be guided by him; it is one thing to ask for his counsel with tears in your eyes and another to receive with humility a word that does not match what you have already decided in your heart. Sometimes a person crosses the country in search of a guide without realizing that he is not looking for the truth that could set him right, but for confirmation of his own convictions. When he receives an answer that overturns his calculations, he begins to negotiate: he keeps what suits him, softens what hurts him, and twists what he has heard until the guidance ends up resembling his own will. Thus, without understanding how far he has strayed from the purpose of his search, he no longer asks for direction but for the blessing of a decision already made. And if the father does not confirm his thoughts, the judging begins: “He doesn’t understand me! He doesn’t know what I’m going through! He has no family; he doesn’t know what it means to raise children, to bear the cares of a marriage, and to struggle with daily problems. I know my situation better!” Perhaps the father does not know every detail of your life. He is a man, not the knower of all the secrets of the heart. But did you come to find someone who would confirm that you are right, or to receive help in seeing what, from the midst of your suffering, you can no longer see clearly? Did you humble yourself before asking for his counsel? Did you pray for the enlightenment of your mind and ask God to soften your heart so that you would not reject the very word you needed? Did you come with the sincere desire to understand what is beneficial for you, or determined to defend your own will? Did you ask for light through the father’s guidance without judging everything solely by the measure of your own understanding? Were you prepared to listen, to ask for clarification when you do not understand, and to receive correction without turning every disagreement into an occasion for judgment? You can sit for hours in front of a father and leave without benefit if your heart is not disposed to receive guidance. You can gather advice from ten monks and go to distant monasteries, but if you pass every word through the filter of your own pride, you will consider them all unskilled and trust only yourself. How painful it is to seek light yet be unable to bear having the darkness within you revealed! Of course, obedience does not mean abandoning discernment or treating every human word as the voice of God. Spiritual guidance is received with respect and examined in the spirit of faith and the teaching of the Church. It is one thing, however, to examine with humility and another to look, at any cost, for a reason to reject what discomforts you. Perhaps, before asking God for a good spiritual father, we should also ask Him for a humble heart. Let us pray to receive the guide’s word not as a sentence that wounds our pride, but as a remedy for the soul, even when it is hard to accept. Let us carry it in prayer and ask for clarification when we do not understand. It is not hard to find a father at whose door you may knock. What is hard is to open the door of your heart and acknowledge that, sometimes, it is not others who stand in your way, but your own will, which you are not willing to place before Christ. It is not enough to find a guide. You must also have a heart ready to receive that guidance day by day, with peace and a humble heart. (Nun Ierusalima)