Inventive Comedy Magician, Dad, Builder, Actor, Writer, Pediatrician, Molecular Biologist, Cartographer, 2nd Grade School Teacher, Gardener, Astro-Physicist

Los Angeles, CA
Joined May 2009
You tweet lost me at (1/10)
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I’m with you!
If RFK bans Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’ll make Jan 6th look like a knitting circle.
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I assume Trump is going to appoint Billy McFarland to be Secretary of Music Festivals?
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🧵 A thread addressed to my fellow conservatives who are planning to vote, or considering voting, for Trump. 1/13
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OMG. My vote for tweet of the day.
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And now a delay at baggage claim. @delta
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Also someone shit their pants. You might need to clean the plane. @delta
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2 hour delay in Atlanta and two hours on the tarmac in Miami. @delta
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Sitting on the tarmac for an hour after landing in Miami. After a two hour delay out of Atlanta. @delta
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Alex Jones is just Rush Limbaugh but not dead yet.
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“Whatever you’ve heard, if you haven’t heard it from us” is EXACTLY what a cult leader would say.
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My goal every day is to be “Henry Winkler fishing on a Wednesday” happy.
What a way to start this Wednesday !!
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Aaaaah YEAH!!!
TODAY'S THE DAY!!!! The Great American Comedy Festival begins tonight with the amazing magical talents of @ericcbuss Mike Caveney, and Tina Lenert! 🪄 Get your tickets now greatamericancomedyfestival.…
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Anheuser-Busch has put me in a difficult situation. I think I’ll buy Bud Light to support their inclusivity, but pour it out because it disgusting beer.
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About to do some radio to promote Shenanigans tomorrow.
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What a disgusting human, he deserves to been seen
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