“Becoming a single mom, especially if you were Black, was once seen as the ultimate failure,” writes Jamilah Lemieux. “When I had my daughter, there seemed to be no shortage of people willing to let me know they found the structure of my family inappropriate … Popular culture has often painted single moms as unlovable, desperate, pathetic creatures who have lost at life.” For years, Lemieux hesitated to write about single motherhood because she didn’t want to be associated with something so openly loathed. But as she began talking to other Black single moms, she was surprised by what she found. “Some of us have co-parents who are as hands on as my own, but Black single moms often rely on their villages for assistance,” she writes. Though far too many women are navigating motherhood without proper support, Black families have a tradition of existing outside the narrow heterosexual nuclear model with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other loved ones stepping in to play important roles. “I used to worry that if my daughter became a third-generation single mom, she would have to navigate the same guilt and shame my mother and I had to contend with. But as time goes on, it’s gotten easier to feel proud of the life I’ve made for myself,” Lemieux continues. “My world improved in every imaginable way after becoming a young single mom.” In a new essay, Lemieux writes about how the increase in single mothers is shifting the way people discuss them, how Black moms have modeled how single moms can successfully raise children outside of a nuclear family, and the stereotypes that still surround single motherhood: nymag.visitlink.me/_fLlG-

After my marriage ended, writes Emily Ratajkowski, I began compulsively dating in order to figure out what kind of woman I wanted to be. thecut.com/article/emily-rat…