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walked out of the stall and this girl went “wait you’re a woman right?? i thought i was in the wrong bathroom for a second!” omg trans panic abt ME?? gender neutral goals 💅
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if time travel was invented, when/where do you think would be the trendy tourist spots that tiktok influencers vlog about?
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mj lenderman type shit
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tried to reference this meme but no one in the car had seen it so now i’m just the weirdo who showed everyone alvin and the chipmunks porn. great
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just had a dream i can only interpret as my subconscious telling me to go back to grad school. i’m so cooked
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sometimes i think im a cheap bastard then i remember my parents had our family of 5 live in the garage for 9 months when they were remodeling our house
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y’all gotta stop posting sw*ft lyrics i’m boutta hate listen to the new album just to figure out which of them are real cuz i refuse to believe y’all didn’t just make up some of these
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do y’all think the the teens who discovered phoebe bridgers thru tiktok know abt better oblivion community center or nah
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playing deftones on the sports bars touchtunes and immediately killing the vibe for everyone but me
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my friends hot mom was telling me to listen to a podcast abt how jfk was an inside job. it felt like the inverse of this skit
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i can’t even try the panera charged lemonade. not even bc of the caffeine, my acid reflux just can’t handle the acidity of lemonade
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my mom just walked in playing higher by creed bragging abt how she just set a new pr for her monthly step count. i can’t make this shit up
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one of the most autistic things i’ve done is that when i went to lisbon to see a situationship n subsequently got dumped i took a picture of every distinct tile pattern i saw and then spent hours arranging them in a way that only made sense to me
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i love seeing non northeastern ppl find out abt how we have a building named after raytheon. i sometimes forget how cartoonishly supervillain the school is, like what do you mean y’all didn’t have buildings named after defense contractors
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