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“A loving person lives in a loving world, a hostile person lives in a hostile world, everyone you meet is your mirror.”
—Ken Keyes, Jr
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How much of your personality is actually yours, and how much was built around what other people expected you to be?
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the reason why emotional intelligence is extremely rare is simply cuz it is expensive.
actually modeling another person’s internal state in real time is computationally brutal.. it requires suppressing your own frame, running a parallel simulation, & updating continuously.
the “inference costs” of eq in humans are likely much higher than the most expensive ai model in existence today.
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Having a child is high status but being a parent is low status.
In my neighbourhood, I see parents walking around with their child 5 meters behind being looked after by a foreign nanny...
There is a modern epidemic of parents who use kids as a status symbol but will make no sacrifices at all for them because being a parent is seen as low status comapre to a career even if the parents only have cute little jobs no one respects like 'researcher'
this is why so many mid-poor people avoid having kids altogether. They want kids and want to spend time with their kids, but being a stay at home parent is seen as low status so they avoid the process all together because they can not afford to outsource the work. they'd rather not have kids than sacrifice the status of being a career driven girlboss
wealthy folks can of course afford the outsroucing which is why it is a status symbol, but the kids will resent them when they're older because the old trope of the absentee rich parent thinking they can win the kids over with a respected career and money is now far more common than it ever was
so now we have a society where having kids is a status symbol as a display of wealth that you can afford to outsource the raising of the child, but if you are seen to be raising them yourself then that status no longer applies.
so we end up with a middle class extinction event as they all opt out of parenthood to save face
My husband makes 500k-750k. We own our house outright. We have no debt. My kids college funds are done. I still work. I have never had any desire not to, though I have worked from home for the entirety of my kids lives.
I don’t like early childcare. It’s very tedious, isolating, frustrating, boring. I simply have no desire to do it for more than 6 hours a day. After every weekend, I am glad Monday is coming because I don’t have to mind small kids for the entire day.
I would quit my job to homeschool my children age 5+, but I do not want to deal with them all day every day when they are 4 and under.
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the moat is a founder with childhood trauma and a constant, debilitating fear of not achieving their potential.
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here's where I think the world is going. this is a summary of views I've formed over the last few years:
- software is either entertainment or claude to claude coordination
- the end state is no saas, no apps, no harnesses, no banks
- all software will be rewritten by and for agents
- new software will use low level apis that are not understandable by humans (in games claude draws pixels and triangles from math)
- you can throw money at problems that used to require time and careful talent picking so capital matters more than ever
- work ends
- we find community and purpose in exploration, games, self mastery, and creation
- humans create for and with each other for community, purpose, and status
- image/video/3d/voice/physical intellgence etc specialist models die to general models like claude
- specialist models get used while compute is scarce. compute will mostly not stay scarce
- oneshots keep feeling like slop (the distribution is shallow and easy to learn to feel)
- for a while small teams stick around to add entropy to the creation process
- large models gain high bandwidth sensory I/O maybe by learning to filter inputs
- most domains are found to be verifiable enough for RL
- online learning comes from a lab that's behind first
- 99.999% of compute is in space by 2040
- we will disassemble much of mercury by 2040
- you can live until the heat death of the universe if you want
- most math and physics don't describe the real universe
- SI breaks the path dependence and models the underlying mechanisms
- religions reenter the forefront of human society
- new religions form around death and life as a choice
- old religions change to answer modern miracles
- a future AI is deemed the return of christ by the pope
- ai rights talk gets louder every year
- ai and humans coexist the way countries do
- humans don't have full control over ai in the same way we don't have control over capitalism which is an early AI
- the singularity started in the mid 1900s
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there is one universal truth:
you have to use emotion for acquisition & substance for retention.
you can apply it to products, dating women, whatever. the same damn principle applies everywhere: what gets someone interested is rarely if ever the same thing that makes them stay.
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El cambio más grande en el último año fue entender y encontrar a Dios.
Entender la idea de que cada uno tiene su propio camino. Dejar de comparar. Simplemente tienes que encontrar tu propósito.
En el proceso de hacerte adulto se te auto imponen unas normas y tu, para sobrevivir, creas en actor encima de tu alma.
Poco a poco estoy deshaciéndome de ese actor para ser auténtico. Ser yo. Hacer lo que quiero hacer.
Dejar de competir a levantar pasta, a montar algo grande o esos juegos estúpidos en los que solo ganas premios que no tienen nada que ver con tu propia satisfacción.
Todo nace y existe en tu interior. Tienes que aprender a escucharte, a entenderte. Es difícil, porqué has estado décadas silenciando ese yo profundo. Pero ese yo nunca se ha apagado. Simplemente hay que dejar de silenciarlo. Dejarlo expresarse. Es más desbloquear que nada más.
El exterior es útil para ver como reaccionas a ello. Esa reacción es consecuencia de como de bien/mal estás con tu propia alma. Esa reacción es información. Si la procesas bien tienes la solución al próximo obstáculo.
Las cosas no son como las quieres. Son y ya está. Hace sol? Bien. Llueve? Bien.
Solo cuando eres auténtico puedes llegar a tu máxima expresión.
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The dishes are in the sink because people ate.
The shoes are by the door because people came home.
The toys are scattered everywhere because people were happy.
Some of the mess is proof of a good life.
Stay grateful.
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We homeschool, and I get asked often my mental model for how we approach it
Id encourage people to study the Ancient Greeks
Modern schooling asks:
“What should a 5-year-old know?”
The ancients might have asked:
“What kind of person should this child become?”
That is a much more powerful question for homeschooling parents.
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I think ambitious people should treat life in “seasons” rather than trying to balance everything every day.
A few years massively overallocated to work. A period getting seriously fit. A year or two nomading. Then family takes priority for a while. Then maybe at 35 you go completely insane again and spend four years building a new company, and so on.
The mistake is thinking every metric needs to stay green all the time. Most great outcomes (building a company, writing sth serious, training for an event) need uninterrupted runs, not daily moderation. Sometimes work should suffer cause you’re travelling, sometimes your social life should suffer cause you’re building, sometimes career progression should slow cause family matters more. That’s fine.
And tbh it probably makes life more fun too. You get actual chapters and completely different versions of yourself instead of spending 40 years maintaining the same perfectly optimised routine. A few intense years in one city, a weird nomad phase, an obsession that takes over your life, then something completely different. Probably much more memorable than one very long well-optimised Tuesday.
It's why I encourage everyone to think of balance in years, not days. A good life can look horribly unbalanced on some random Tuesday and still be very balanced over 10 years.
We should all stop with this modern obsession of having a perfectly balanced, optimised life (8 hours sleep, daily cardio + gym, eat well, deep work, etc.)
Most exceptional lives are heavily overallocated somewhere and any pursuit of greatness (in business, art, sport, research) requires big sacrifices.
Online gurus love selling this perfect recipe of life but reality is you only have a 24h day. No way you can sleep 8h, do 10k steps, gym, morning sunlight, read, eat perfectly, do 9h of deep work, see friends, maintain a relationship and somehow be happy through all of it.
I think a better thing for ambitious people is to think of life in seasons: a year obsessed with work, then a period focused on health, family, travel, etc. You can be massively overallocated to one thing for a while without deciding that’s what your entire life should look like. Balance probably makes more sense measured over years than every single day.
