Parents try to teach values in conversation, but children learn more by observation. No matter what we say, kids discover what matters to us by watching what we do. Where we focus tells them what we prize. A key to being a good role model is paying attention to your attention.

At the root of our polarization problem is a deficit of intellectual humility. Too many people refuse to admit that they might be wrong. Diversity of thought opens minds. Intensity of conviction closes them. Knowing your knowledge is incomplete is a prerequisite for learning.

You can’t judge people only by how they treat you. The true test of character is how they treat those they don't like or need. Even if someone is kind to you, proceed with caution if they’re consistently unkind to others. Selective civility is a sign of deep-seated hostility.