I spent money and won a raid but a glitch ruined my chance at catching a Mewtwo. Fuck you. Pokémon go. You stole my money.
How did parts of our government go from, “I’ll never take the Trump vaccine” to “you have to take the vaccine or else”….?
As an American, tax-paying man, I believe we need more cheeseburger commercials with more tits. I’d run for office on that.
If I had a dollar for every girl that I hit it off with; only for them to ghost me days later, in just this year alone, I’d have like $3.50
This Halloween will be the first in my new house so I’m looking to build a reputation to trick-or-treaters by handing out pamphlets for dental insurance.
I’m not the biggest fan of the life I’m living, but I know I’m a lot happier than some of you fucks gettin married before 25.




