they say you need to "re-parent" yourself once you have kids and damn if that isn't true. I was feeling downcast about my cute mother daughter Halloween costume idea, and I almost decided to scrap it and do nothing instead. Then I realized the reason why was because I was imagining my daughter as a hostile teen looking back on the photos some day. I imagined her rolling her eyes and feeling annoyed that her mom was assuming a closeness and sentimentality that never had any hope of materializing between us. and sure there's all kinds of reasons this is coming up for me--from the relationship I had with my own mom as a teen, to the struggles I have right now being a step-mom to a teen daughter, to the implicit assumption I carry into any relationship that I'm destined to be rejected--but I don't need to immediately resolve any of this. what I need is to touch grass. My baby is 4mo. I am currently the light of her life. Her face brightens like the sun when she sees me or hears me. she's snuggled on my chest sleeping right now. why would I pre-reject myself and deny us both a cute memory to look back on out of fear we won't want to look back on it?? I'm going to do the cute mother daughter costume, and I'm going to do it to capture the real bond we *already* have right now. and let adolescence bring what it will.