John Burrows

@McDonalds @McDonaldsCorp @McDonaldsUK i have designed a device that allows you to eat a mcflurry while driving do you want exclusitivity? it could easily be adapted for other brands icecream tubs but you can get in at the ground floor now for only eight figures

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@10DowningStreet @BBCBreaking @GOVUK it cannot possibly be seen as acceptable for an embassy on our soil to be calling for the execution and humiliation of soldiers - which is a war crime.

@avast seriously?

You know what would be unexpected? If your Uttoxer New St store had any cheese twists.

Cheapest supermarket without any cheese twists maybe.

Hey @LidlGB this was in @AldiUK earlier. What gives?

The same day a bunch of bigwigs and governments get their financial shit leaked with #PandoraPapers

Hi @CRTEastMidlands, GUC in Leicester seems to be very low between Mill Lock and St Marys Mill lock Leicester, any idea if theres a problem?

@RevolutApp is this the domain you use for your help service or a scam?

I do not often use twitter. Here is a drawing I did.

@ShpockUK could you please stop doing this to my items? £1 is a perfectly fine price for an old dvd. It's £1.76 delivered online!

It's been fifteen minutes. Morale is low. Raided local cornershop for bottled water and canned goods. #facebookdown

Cassetteboy vs David Cameron - Gettin' Piggy With It youtube.com/watch?feature=pl… #hamgate #aporkalypsenow #hameron #snoutrage

This made me tear up a little. youtube.com/watch?v=ihoYKUmJ…