Tweet lurker.

Joined October 2022
I am Michael Tracey.
1
9
I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound. An American immediately said, "I got a guy." He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage. I asked who the guy was. He said, "Just a guy." He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage." That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family. I asked how he found this guy. "My brother-in-law used him." I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied. He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing." The house is still standing. That is the entire review. Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES. I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four. Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment. He came at 1:40. He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of. Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go." I asked when. "Couple years." I asked what I should do. He said, "I'll give you a guy." He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy. Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION. I have been given four guys since. I have a guy for trees. I did not know I needed a guy for trees. I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.
1,567
5,872
1,014
84,017
5,386,397
“Yeah, it’s fucking hilarious right? The horse was full– it’s fucking hilarious…”
My boy Odysseus here, he’s wicked smaht
20
153
6
3,346
209,177
Dripides retweeted
Corn getting dumped 📉🌽 Loading up on popcorn today 🍿
1
4
80
1,530
🦌🦌🦌🦌🎅🏼🎄🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌
140
14,733
260
68,417
1,477,914
local 4 year old: what is the goodest thing me: well, to do things for people you love. to succeed. to be wise, to learn things local 4 year old: no, what is the goodest thing to eat
25
34
3
1,353
30,003
If we don't save net neutrality, you'll get the internet one word at a time. #savethenet #savetheinternet #netneutrality #onemorevote
2,202
3,543
1,658
6,905
It’s funny to see people (especially not Americans) who think that this round of riots & protests is “going somewhere”— I remember in 2020 when people said the same thing & how much flak I got for saying it’s all spectacle & has no political import anymore than Philadelphians rioting for a sports franchise victory— a french “communist” is telling me that Mexicans are going to take back California & deport me, in 2020 the midwestern neonazis were telling me that George Floyd Militants were going to raid my apartment & execute my cats. Nothing happens, either way. The realization no one wants to have is “this is normal”— this is what “the American Normal” is— every so often you get a little riot as a treat & the cops get overtime & hazard pay & the property owners get insurance payouts & at best some sexless collegiate “activist” gets some solidarity pussy. It’s all in good fun, after all.
24
91
9
776
42,288
I have no followers, and I must post.
49
zoology is the study of animals. so what is the study of zoos? does not exist. you cant do it, because the name is taken. every day young men show up to “zoology” classes hoping to learn about ticket prices, benches, what animals cluster aesthetically - and we let them rot there.
32
44
3
789
15,260
Just found out “Carti” isn’t Carti B
4
106
This shit is dead. Basically only women post anymore. Somebody please tell me where the autists went
1
79
Dripides retweeted
We're so back.
20
51
9
529
63,830
Dear Vivek:
810
4,553
489
34,373
1,848,625
Getting death threats again but I want you people to know who youre dealing with. I am descended from a long evolutionary line of trembling cowards, that has converged in the ultimate prey. You will NOT sneak up on me, you will NOT find my burrows, and you will NOT out flee me
50
146
9
3,522
81,673
Dear Elon:
4,766
22,298
4,613
118,014
21,788,935