dontevale

I have had the honor and privilege to attend many conventions for the games I love. MagicCon, RQs for Riftbound, GenCon, PAX, you name it. My con experience is usually positive. I cherish these opportunities to meet fans and jam games. There is however, a dark underbelly that demands our attention and awareness. We’re on the third day of #RQLA and there have been multiple cases of sexual assault, misogyny, and downright abhorrent behavior that should never be allowed, but unfortunately always happen at these large, male centric, events. Most attendees will never see it happen, some will hear about it on social media, and many will get into arguments over it online. Ultimately the discourse just ends up becoming another point of contention and talking point and the actual issues don’t really get addressed as the wash of other controversy or news eventually takes over. We can all agree that this type of behavior is absolutely wrong - what we tend to miss is learning what we can do in the face of it. Social media is good for raising awareness, but past that I believe it is important to talk about what you can do as an attendee to clamp down on this as a community. Now that you know it happens, you can be a steward in the face of it. If you sense someone is being scummy or being misogynistic, don’t be afraid to raise your voice and call it out. A simple “Hey can we call a judge over here?” or “Excuse me, this behavior is not acceptable” can do an incredible amount of good when someone being harassed might need the help or is simply in such a state of shock they are unable to call for help. Sometimes the simple act of togetherness of being someone else simply witnessing and upholding the affect person’s reality of discomfort goes a long way. If you’re just an internet warrior and are only interacting online, there are more useful things to do than start an argument over someone’s testimony or making assumptions without proper knowledge. Maybe you can try to ask questions and start from a place of not knowing, or sometimes it’s better to just not say anything at all if you’re not contributing towards a positive solution. It is astounding to me how often people will go to war over incomplete information and spend their energy taking each other down instead of working towards an actionable plan to help the people affected. Building a community starts with community members standing up for each other and taking correct action in the face of danger. Correct action is often much more measured than what we’re used to online. Correct action is often realizing you’re not the right person to tackle the issue and learning who to appeal to so the situation can be appropriately dealt with. If you discover that the systems in place are not adequate for resolving the situation, congrats, you now can focus your energy on that- who can you talk to that might have the ability to affect some change in this arena? If you see something, say something. If you don’t have anything productive yo say or do, find someone who has the power and duty to do so instead. Stay safe out there everyone.