if it wasn't for this nonsense, I'd have no sense at all.
Delray Beach, FL
Joined March 2009
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Instructor: "Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to learn how to dance?"
Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."
Drew (some assembly required) retweeted
Baby Boomers: "Millennials are to blame!"
Millennials: "Baby Boomers are to blame!"
Gen Xers: 🎶 Here we are now, entertain us...🎶
My neurosurgeon passed away, but no worries, his sister will be taking over to perform my operation!
Drew (some assembly required) retweeted
If they served grilled cheese sandwiches at communion, I'd go to church more often.
Drew (some assembly required) retweeted
Do you even know the function of the Conjunction Junction, bro?
If you’re over 50, you can tell people you were a Blowfish and you’re bffs with Hootie. No one checks.
If you’re over 50, you can tell people you were a Blowfish and you’re bffs with Hootie. No one checks.
CBS plans to air Comics Unleashed after Cobert ends, which is ironic because I thought CBS liked to keep their comics leashed.
Drew (some assembly required) retweeted
Jesus: “Hey everyone, I’m back!”
Disciples: “We hid some eggs for you to find.”
Drew (some assembly required) retweeted
You don't have to be drunk on New Year's Eve to know the lyrics to “Auld Lang Syne”, but it sure helps.