And of course, if you ever want to win #Pointless #Animaniacs 🇺🇸

Celtic in negotiations to sign this ref.

Oh Parkhead in the Sun Celtic 7 The Jam Tarts 1 @derekniven1418

Beating Celtic and beating Dundee get you exactly the same amount of points.

We took off the two guys looking most likely to score and left on Gassama and Naderi.

Gassama is dog shit

Two absolutely awful goals we’ve given away tonight

Well, that was coming … Poor first half performance

Andrew Reid, St Mirren @stmirrenretro

Maybe just maybe Janey Godley was correct after all …

Weekly update from @RoyalMail @BBCNews Posted 1st October Still sitting at Royal Mail Distribution Hub, Warrington since 9th October 48hrs tracked 😂 I could have hired a competent swimmer with the package on his back to swim up the Clyde to the Channel Islands in that time!

This morning, kettle was on, I put the hob on, grabbed the frying pan, a little oil, warmed up the pan, and went to the fridge for an egg .. no eggs! Forgot my wife used them for baking yesterday. Moral : Check your ingredients first! 🍳

What the point of going on a quiz show, if you’re as thick as shit? #bridgeoflies

So as part of our energy bill, we pay a portion for energy theft, we also pay towards defaulters, and an emergency fund if the supplier goes bust, plus green tax, assistance towards the suppliers’ fixed cost , anything else I’ve missed? @MartinSLewis

There is whispers among my family circle there might be a surprise party in the near future. Is it wrong to be sitting here hoping not to get an invite? 😂 There’s a reason why “Me, Myself, I” by Joan Armatrading is my signature tune.

just poured myself a cuppa using a “shortbread teabag” and the verdict is I don’t like it! 😡 🫖 It tastes like you dunked a piece of shortbread in and and part of it sunk to the bottom, you forget about that episode, return to the cup and taste the biscuit seeping thru’ it 🤢

What the fuck is going on @eBay @eBay_UK these days? How can you have nearly a thousand items for sale and not attracting any views nor offers? In any other year, I’d be packing half a dozen items per week?

Private Eye : Football Special