Chanandler Bong

Is it normal to open twitter and be immediately overwhelmed or am I just in my 30’s?

An actual conversation I had with a coworker.

I did not get high enough on my lunch break

Activated charcoal toothpaste makes me more aware of how I spit.

is mowing the yard vegan?

Sittin’ buzzed scrolling through Audiotree sessions and getting emotional to Mothers’ live performances and music overall.

A cyclist stopped to tell me I probably shouldn’t be walking on the bike path. Yeah, well, Trump probably shouldn’t be president.

A person with an iPad just asked me for a dollar

Should I go get a pint of ice cream

I can’t remember if I ate a pint of ice cream last night

*listening to Weezer* @lasagna_delray: Is this Rozwell Kid? Millennials, man.

tfw you're watching your favorite crime drama and five finger death punch starts playing 😐

I always try to scare the shit out of my lift drivers by entering the vehicle aggressively or slapping my hand on the window to get their attention.