Richard “Longjohns” Johnson | MBA | CFP | CPA

One of the better fantasy punishments I’ve seen

Let’s put on our thinking caps #noticing

I’ve made a huge mistake coming to pfit at this hour

I am ode sick

My roomates body wash that’s also face wash and laundry detergent? And general purpose cleaner?

About to bang this mom on Friday and told her I’m not looking for anything serious and she said “that’ll change” #yeahright

It’s about time I un private this account

I want a wife so bad but too much inhib to cold approach anywhere except when I go out, but I don’t wanna meet a potential wife while I’m out so I gotta figure it tf out

Will have boots on the ground in Knoxville this weekend. Any UTK mutuals tap in

I know I’m sex deprived bc a rocket was throwing ass on me at John summit and I deadass got insta-bricked from it #brutal

Out of hinge likes at a crisp 9:14am

How to still get buns with quite possibly the worst Halloween costume of all fucking time

Put it on Jesus imma ball, shuttlesworth

I’m starting to realize a lot of my friends are genuinely low IQ

Just threw up from three beers 😂😂😂 nuke me 😂😂🤣

I got scammed for a fake id freshman year

Not usually one to post stuff like this but this is insane 😭😭😭

We get an adidas contact and dudes wanna pop out wearing the ugliest shoes of all time

Hello beautiful #restocked

Absolute rocket who I told I wasn’t ready for a relationship is now in a relationship

Wonderful day for a drive back to state college