Rockies fan, superhero nerd. I cried like a bitch when the Cubs won the World Series. Smol. 🐈 mom. She/her.

Joined July 2009
Not me absolutely losing my shit when Mel B and Emma Bunton showed up on The Circle. #whathascoviddonetome
1
179
Well, it took three years, but Miss Rona done finally breached my immune system. I've been saying this to myself and cackling all day...
2
210
My sister got laid off today. Tbh I think she's handling things pretty well...
1
156
I'm a minute into this candy cane I'm eating and it's spicy?! Like, it started out as a nice pineapple flavor and now my MOUTH IS ON FIRE.
1
119
For the record, I like it. I just wasn't expecting it. Literally out loud just said, "this candy cane is... Spicy?"
1
1
106
I'm apparently 2 years late to the party, but goddamn, if The Innocent Files isn't powerful...
1
104
I am literally cackling. Oh my God. Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Andrew Tate’s video in response to Greta Thunberg allowed Romanian authorities to confirm he was in the country, and arrest him in human trafficking investigation, due to the pizza chain shown in the 2-minute rant.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
“Speculation online centered on whether a distinctive pizza box … had helped lead the authorities to him, but Ramona Bolla, a spokeswoman for the Directorate for the Investigation of Organized Crime and Terrorism, told The New York Times … that that was not the case.” nytimes.com/2022/12/30/wor…
102
🐙Krista (paradox) retweeted
yes, please do enlighten me. email me at [email protected]
Hello @GretaThunberg I have 33 cars. My Bugatti has a w16 8.0L quad turbo. My TWO Ferrari 812 competizione have 6.5L v12s. This is just the start. Please provide your email address so I can send a complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions.
69,659
467,408
107,948
3,305,036
328,536,687
Just tried to say "it's cold as a witches tit" and "it's nipply" at the same time and it came out "it's titty" so that's how my Monday is going.
2
176
My plan was to start Callisto Protocol, play for an hour or so while I wait for my meds to kick in, and pass TF out. Callisto Protocol ruined any and all chances of getting a nightmare-less sleep BEFORE THE GODDAMN TITLE CARD.
1
1
Related: fuck you, Unreal Engine.
🐙Krista (paradox) retweeted
Jean says it’s ok to be disappointed, it’s fine to be mad. Just don’t get so discouraged that you forget to hold a grudge
70
617
77
6,963
Lolwut
Yasiel Puig has agreed to plead guilty to felony charges after lying to federal agents investigating an illegal gambling operation. It carries a maximum sentence of 5 years in federal prison. justice.gov/usao-cdca/pr/for…
So I'm balls deep into The Crown, and have been googling the real shit as I see the fake shit on TV, and this is one of the most Violently British™ system of measurement I've ever seen.
1
🐙Krista (paradox) retweeted
According to messages shared in Twitter Slack, Twitter’s CISO, chief privacy office, and chief compliance officer all resigned last night. An employee says it will be up to engineers to “self-certify compliance with FTC requirements and other laws.”
810
10,183
5,724
50,035
🐙Krista (paradox) retweeted
what a sentence
522
20,775
1,750
188,357
I am 12 minutes into Love is Blind s3 and I already want to punch Cole in the twat...
1
1
Hey guys, I didn't actually HATE him, hate him, until the bachelor party when he ripped his fucking shirt open, and I, reflexively, out loud, said, "OH, HE'S SUCH A DOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCHE." So things are going really well
1
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 holy shit. Zanab just straight up murdered him on their wedding day and HIS TEARS ARE DELICIOUS.
1