I know ... the show is more interesting when I get out

It's the least I can do... which is normally what I do

When I talk I expect to be paid for it... or I don't talk #progressivedinner

It's perfectly designed... and fun to look at #ass

You gotta be fit out there. That's why I moved. #SoCal

I'M not a burglar merely a bungler

#Showbiz.. Percentages, that's all it is ... and deli platters and backstage shenanigans

Pizza is food slutty.... It's always available

Invented just in time for me to be an old man #GPS

They all lift from each other...They're like #djs. #NFLcoaches.

It takes a lot to keep me interested.. It's the #dropout in me

i'd also like To apologize to #LarryLujack for making fun of #golf... because now i get it

A bunch of people sitting around in their Patagonia-wear eating flatbreads ... get the fuck out of here #WesternSprings

He Only has one and a half more victories than he has bathrooms #eberflousnewhouse @ChicagoBears

It's more of a triangle jerk

Somebody's got to be in the mean grandpa

I'm providing you with whatever comfort I can... without having to do much #admiralsclub

You are doing your kids a favor if you don't leave them anything... That's my new motto.

I'm trying to substitute words in for hot because i don't think it's becoming for a man almost 70 to say hot #tiktok #hotgirls

It was up all night making plans that it was never going to follow through on #CocaineBear