People who vape are the vegans of smoking: technically different, spiritually just as annoying about it.
#smoking #vape #Spirituality
Bumper cars are a wild first driving lesson. “Remember kids: No turn signals, no brakes, and if someone’s in your way, floor it.”
Bumper cars are a wild first driving lesson. “Remember kids: No turn signals, no brakes, and if someone’s in your way, floor it.”
Serious question: if someone is crying while telling me a heartbreaking story, how long do I have to wait before taking another bite of my corn dog without looking like a psychopath?
I hate it when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. like alright man, I get it
...you’re doing better than me financially. No need to flex.
If you were already thinking about buying Girl Scout cookies, just remember they support trans kids and have turned down anti-trans money. So really, buying two extra boxes is basically community service.
I wish that, instead of burning them slowly, I could use up all my fat cells at once on one insane feat of athleticism.
Dogs in 10000BC: "Look at
these weird monkeys,let's
eat them"
Human: *throws stick really far*
Dogs:
The guy who first found out that babies instinctively hold their breath underwater must have had some serious questions to answer to.
2004 middle school me learning about Rome: But how could such a developed and rich society collapse so suddenly?
2025 me: Oh...
(Wearing my jedi robe)
Guy: Who are you supposed to be?
Me: Maybe this will help. *does the hand movement for the force*
Guy: Magneto?
#xmen #StarWars #Halloween
Instead of trying to invent a time machine, we should create a time that entices future time machine inventors to come back here and visit