@danguterman

Carol & The End Of The World, Rick & Morty, Colbert Report, At Home with Amy Sedaris, Community, The Onion (Head Writer)

 Los Angeles, CA
Joined March 2009
  • Tweets1.6K
  • Following1.9K
  • Followers29K
166Media
Tired of all these stupid rom-coms. And so is my best friend who I have feelings for but is dating the lawyer who's representing my ex-wife.
2
36
3
190
"Let me eat cake" - Donald Trump
3
72
19
430
It's funny how children see the world: upside down with their parents screaming at me to please be careful.
12
91
The secret to drawing horses is start drawing a dog and then halfway through pretend the dog is really, really rich.
4
37
1
320
the seven types of comedy: comedy as entertainment comedy as activism haha fancy man fell down comedy as artistic pursuit racism comedy as drama with zero comedy i have a mortgage now
4
12
139
stronger female characters is a good start but another thing that helps is writing very weak male characters. that’s what I’m going to do.
3
11
1
141
my favorite episode of seinfeld is when they bet who can go the longest without masturbating and one by one they all masturbate and you see it each time
6
14
217
video game tells me to take a break and go outside like that’s not also collecting coins & trying not to die
1
19
2
156
it’s a girl!!
17
181
THRILLER IDEA: A man finds stacks of money inside his burrito. We then cut to another man as he opens a briefcase to reveal carne asada. The man struggles to explain. He is shot through the head.
4
22
288
took a trip to los carneros in the heart of wine country. so beautiful out here but all i can think about is work
15
298
4
2,332
Kimberly Hébert Gregory was a beautiful soul. She brought Donna to life with such depth, and warmth, and joy. Her presence was rare. Her talent undeniable. May comfort surround those mourning her loss. Devastating news.
15
1,983
If I was rich I'd have two hedge mazes. One from which there can be no escape. And one for more lighthearted affairs and casual mazing.
9
367
9
1,073
started collecting mirrors and it's either getting out of hand or I only have twelve
1
10
71

No more items