The best Del Boy one liners from Only Fools and Horses, written by John Sullivan: “You can’t trust the Old Bill, can ya? Look at that time they planted six gas cookers in my bedroom.” “Look at Grandad. His brain went years ago, now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left.” “As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, 'We’ve been done up like a couple of kippers.'” “You've always been the same, even at school. Nothing but books, learning, education - that's why you're no good at snooker.” “Sit down, Rodney. Keep your brains warm.” “She used to say, ‘It’s better to know you’ve lost than not to know you’ve won.’ Dear old Mum, she used to say some bloody stupid things.” “It’s the toughest chicken I’ve ever known. It’s asked me for a fight in the car park twice.” “You dozy little twonk, Rodney.” “They're yuppies. They don’t speak proper English like what we do.” “It's a well-known fact that 90 per cent of all foreign tourists come from abroad.” “Dear old grandad, bless him. He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear.” “He who dares wins. He who hesitates... doesn’t.”