@dan_wickes

NYC standup. Winner of the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival. Check out Roast Battle League NY. he/him

 New York, NY
linktr.ee/danwickes
Joined December 2011
  • Tweets8.8K
  • Following2.2K
  • Followers11.3K
234Media
I just found out a comedian I know finds it annoying how often I mention winning the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival. I on the other hand think it’s funny. And I know funny. It’s why I won the 2021 Coney Island Comedy Festival
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It’s not cyclospora it’s the Donald Dump
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Getting three first round pick swaps with the Charlotte Hornets is great if you’re any team besides the Charlotte Hornets
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I’m so jealous of the NYPD sniper. What a view he must have!
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My president’s a war criminal, My ruling class pedophiles, My resistance alive, Knicks in 5.
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people are saying Trump jinxed the Knicks tonight. Of course, he jinxed the Knicks, he loves SA!
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Dan Wickes retweeted
John Kennedy
@FrazzleMyGimpJun 9
Trump finding out the Knicks win streak is 13: im going to fuck it
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My mayor Muslim My bagel Jewish My pedophile shuts his eyes Knicks in five
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The most unclutch shooter in Knicks history is Thomas Crooks
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Nobody reads anymore. You can be surrounded by literally thousands of books and still prefer to shoot JFK
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Hey Cracker Barrel fans get on this I want my Biscoff cookie
Andrew Lokenauth
@FluentInFinanceMay 4
BREAKING: Delta Air Lines will no longer offer free snacks or drinks on all flights starting May 19th (under 350 miles). Meanwhile, Delta CEO Ed Bastian received $27.1 million in 2024. Consumers lose, every single time.
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What about those who pace maniacally and are constantly in other people’s way?
Earth
@earthcuratedApr 30
Those who walk faster generally enjoy longer lives, supported by extensive long-term studies.
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AI trains on original content. Content created using AI creates a feedback loop making AI train on worse and worse quality materials. We should be distrustful of non-AI creators, they are fueling AI
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Whenever I see a hot celebrity like Meghan Thee Stallion get cheated on I think why couldn’t she just date a guy like me who could also cheat on her
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I miss when Meghan Trainor was fat!!!
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It is too soon to joke about Trump's assassination. I will be sticking to jokes about Charlie Kirk.
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Imagine a fake shooter and a real shooter showing up to the same event
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When I scream fuck it’s not because of my Tourrettes. It’s because I am mad that I have Tourrettes
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Right wing government buying Spirit Airlines to prove that government owned businesses don’t work
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Executive who funds AI so that Skynet will spare him as “one of the good ones”
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Reinstate the draft but then everybody too old to be drafted doesn’t get to vote
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