Dave Holzer (@daholzer) header
Dave Holzer (@daholzer) profile picture

Intermittent crasher of mountain bikes and networks.

The Interweb
Joined January 2011
Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)Photo by Dave Holzer (@daholzer)
Dave Holzer retweeted
The guy who compared a Trump rally to Jonestown on live Fox News was invited by the Trump campaign. They called his work phone on Monday and asked him to come. His name is Tom Hoyle. He's 57 and runs a small custom printing shop in Charlotte called MadPark Designs with his business partner. He's hated Trump since 1989, back when he was a sophomore in college. And he really, really doesn't like getting sales calls on the shop line, from anybody. So when the rally people called, he said yes. He even signed up with his real name and contact info, because he wanted it on the record that they invited him. Then he had to get through the door. A private security guy asked him straight up if he was a Trump supporter. Tom told him he supports the Constitution, then started talking about his shirt, which was for an old death metal band called Death. He kept going about the history of Florida death metal until the guard gave up and let him in. His plan going in was honestly pretty juvenile. He and a buddy he grew up with figured he'd wait a few minutes into the speech and yell something filthy. Then a Fox News reporter, Lucas Tomlinson, found him standing off by himself and asked if he could interview him live. Tom thinks a white guy with a big beard and a ball cap was pretty much exactly what they were looking for. He told himself he wasn't going to cuss on national TV, so he made it up on the spot. He says the first line and then just waits. The reporter goes "Wait, the Jonestown Massacre?" and that's when he finishes it. He told The Handbasket he picked that up from Billy Crystal, who said on Letterman back in the '80s that you always let the other guy set up your punchline. Tomlinson set it up for him perfectly. A few minutes later some men who said they were Secret Service pulled him aside. He asked if this was about the concession stand, because it closed early and he was starving. They didn't love that and walked him out. On his way out he passed the guard from the front door and told him, hey man, you didn't vet me too well. Think about how many people had a shot at stopping this. The campaign's call list found him. The signup form had his name. A guard questioned him to his face. A Fox crew put him on live TV. Every one of them took one look at the beard and the hat and filled in the rest. That's how almost all of this screening works. Asking somebody what they actually believe takes time, and looking at them takes a second, so everybody just looks. The one check that actually caught him came after he'd already said it on national TV.
Fox: Why are you here this morning? Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
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Security called me at 6:12 AM today. "Patch every PHP server immediately." I asked what happened. "Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required." Cool. How many PHP servers do we have? According to inventory: 12 According to reality: Nobody knows. We found one running WordPress. Three running old internal tools. One under someone's desk. Two inside vendor appliances. A forgotten employee directory from 2016. And a server named: PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH Naturally, that one runs payroll exports. Then we found a PHP 5.6 box. I asked who owned it. The documentation said: BRIAN. Brian left in 2019. We called Brian. He said: "Oh wow, that's still running?" Excellent. By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call. CEO: "Can hackers actually get in?" Security: "Potentially yes." CEO: "Without a password?" Security: "Yes." CEO: "Then why do WE need passwords?" Not the lesson. Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue. Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers. Finance asked for a cost comparison. At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline. Marketing refused. "Our campaign is live." So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover. We finally patched everything we could find. Then our scanner discovered another PHP server. Hostname: TEMP-PHP-2014 Uptime: 4,512 days. Nobody knows what it does. Nobody owns it. Nobody can shut it down. But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels. Security has classified it as critical infrastructure. It is running PHP 5.4. The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees. The emergency patch took four hours. Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven. The internet isn't held together with code. It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.
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A toaster is a wedding gift. A private-island party paid for by a Putin-connected oligarch is something else. Republicans nearly wore out the subpoena machine investigating Hunter Biden’s foreign relationships. We should not unplug it now. ‘Trust us’ was not enough then, and it is not enough now.
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BREAKING: Trump has made nearly 29,000 securities trades since returning to the White House, more than all members of Congress combined (22,200)—Bloomberg Drain. The. Swamp.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
Trump has pardoned the following people charged with fraud: —George Santos, wire fraud —Ross William Ulbricht, fraud with identification documents —Rod R. Blagojevich, 8 counts of wire fraud under color of official right —Brian Kelsey, conspiracy to defraud the United States —Devon Archer, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud —Trevor Milton, securities fraud; 2 counts of wire fraud —Jason Galanis, 2 counts of conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud; investment adviser fraud —Ozy Media, Inc., conspiracy to commit securities fraud; conspiracy to commit wire fraud —Carlos Roy Watson, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; conspiracy to commit wire fraud; aggravated identity theft —Michele Fiore, 6 counts of conspiracy to commit wire fraud; wire fraud —Scott Howard Jenkins, conspiracy to commit bribery concerning programs receiving Federal funds, honest services mail fraud, and honest service wire fraud; honest services mail fraud; 3 counts of honest services wire fraud —Julie Chrisley, 5 counts of conspiracy to commit bank fraud; bank fraud; wire fraud; conspiracy to defraud the U.S. to obstruct and impede the Internal Revenue Laws —Todd Chrisley, conspiracy to commit bank fraud; 5 counts of bank fraud; wire fraud; conspiracy to defraud the U.S. to obstruct and impede the Internal Revenue Laws —Lawrence S. Duran, conspiracy to commit health care fraud; 11 counts of health care fraud; conspiracy to defraud the United States and to receive and pay health care kickbacks — Michael Gerard Grimm, aiding and assisting in the preparation of false and fraudulent tax returns —Marian I. Morgan, conspiracy to defraud the United States; 7 counts of wire fraud; 5 counts of transfer of funds taken by fraud —John G. Rowland, conspiracy to defraud the United States —Charles Overton Scott, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud —Glen Casada, conspiracy to defraud the United States; 4 counts of honest services wire fraud; use of a fictitious name to carry out a fraud —Cade Cothren, conspiracy to defraud the United States; 6 counts of honest services wire fraud —Robert Henry Harshbarger, Jr., health care fraud —Joseph Lewis, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; 2 counts of securities fraud —David Gentile, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; conspiracy to commit wire fraud; securities fraud; 2 counts of wire fraud —Jacob Deutsch, conspiracy to commit mail fraud and wire fraud —Adriana Isabel Camberos, conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud; 7 counts of wire fraud and aiding and abetting —Andres Enrique Camberos, conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud; 7 counts of wire fraud and aiding and abetting —Julio M. Herrera Velutini, 2 counts of honest services wire fraud —David Levy, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud —Hollie Ann Nadel, conspiracy to commit money laundering and bank fraud —Mark T. Rossini, honest services wire fraud —Wanda Vazquez Garced, honest services wire fraud —Terren Scott Peizer, securities fraud —Timothy S. Smith, conspiring to defraud the Internal Revenue Service —Stephen E. Buyer, 4 counts of securities fraud —John Dougherty, 24 counts of wire fraud; conspiracy to commit honest services fraud and federal program bribery; 7 counts of honest services wire fraud —Joshua L. Davis, conspiracy to defraud the United States and violate the Clean Air Act —Matthew Sidney Geouge, conspiracy to defraud the United States and violate the Clean Air Act —Adam R. Kidan, conspiracy to commit wire fraud and mail fraud; wire fraud —Spade K. Bailly, conspiracy to defraud the United States and to violate the Clean Air Act
Trump's Attorney General Todd Blanche: There has never been a President in American history more serious about stopping fraud and protecting the American taxpayer than Donald Trump
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😂😂😂
🤖 Made with AI
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Dave Holzer retweeted
President Trump was not in the vicinity of the World Trade Center when it was hit. He was in Trump Tower, miles away from the towers and nearby One Liberty Plaza, which is/was also known as the US Steel building. There was public concern in the days following the attack that One Liberty Plaza might collapse, but the authorities repeatedly said it was structurally sound, and there's not currently any public evidence Trump went into it amid these collapse worries (?), much less that he was rushed out by firefighters. In varying language, he has repeatedly claimed for years he was at Ground Zero with a large crew of his workers helping with the recovery in the days after 9/11, but people who were definititely on site have said they never saw him or a Trump-organized crew on site and that it wouldn't make sense for them to have had access; there are pictures and videos of Trump in the neighborhood in the following days, in a clean suit, but not on the actual site. While campaigning in 2016, he told a version of today's story about being whisked away from One Liberty Plaza by big firemen, but he said in 2016 that the alleged incident happened "a couple of days" after 9/11 and claimed the creaky building was "not so far from us," instead of leaving open the impression he might've been a) inside it b) on 9/11 itself. xitter.cf/Acyn/status/2097340291…
Trump on 9/11: I was building a big building in New York, and I took the whole crew down there right after this happened., Wasn't too much we could do. We had other buildings, the United States steel building was creaking. I'll never forget two firemen. We thought it was coming down on top of us, and two firemen. Big, strong guys. And I'm not the smallest guy in the world. They grabbed me under the arms. They got to get out of here. And they literally lifted me up. This is not easy to do. I'm big. They lifted me up and they started running with me. I said, fellas, I can run myself.
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When someone who never served, and actually pretended to have bone spurs to hide from serving, posts AI slop with him posing as a veteran in uniform, is that considered "stolen valor?" Asking for those who actually DID serve, and their families.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
Hey @grok, how many days does Trump vacation per year versus the average worker? Concise. No spin.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
A diarrhea-causing parasite has now infected over 1,000 Americans, spreading across 29 states. Last year, RFK Jr and Elon Musk dissolved the CDC office responsible for preventing parasitic infections.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
look I don't like the job he's doing either but do we really have to call him a parasite
A diarrhea-causing parasite has now infected over 1,000 Americans, spreading across 29 states. Last year, RFK Jr and Elon Musk dissolved the CDC office responsible for preventing parasitic infections.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
Look MAGA, Donald Trump finally built the wall.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in. Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool. Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms. Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel. Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration. Step 6: Blame someone else.
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ThE aRt Of ThE dEaL
BREAKING: JD Vance confirms that Iran could gain access to a $300 billion reconstruction fund: “That’s the sort of thing they could have access to, so long as they honor their end of the obligation.”
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It sure looks like we're giving a lot of money to rich people in our own country under Trump
A lot of U.S. foreign aid is the result of poor people in a rich country being forced by their own government to give money to rich people in poor countries. Sure, it’s a small percentage of federal spending—but that’s cold comfort to the hardworking Americans footing the bill.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
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Dave Holzer retweeted
CentraCom is aware of false reports and public discussion linking our company to a proposed data center project in Box Elder County. We wish to clarify that we are not involved in this project in any capacity. We have no plans to participate in this project now or in the future.
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In Uno that means you are losing.
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Dave Holzer retweeted
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