David Bard

I made a sandwich for my sis @DaisyBard and nominate @GeorgeWistler to sandwich up a woman's day #reclaimthemandwich

Hogging the limelight again @David_Cameron #piggate #hardporkingfamilies

Well played, we urned it @theashes @BBCSport @englandcricket

Today I bought 8 tiny avocados for £1 at a cornershop. 8. Does this mean we've fixed the economy? Or is it more broken than ever? #avocado

What would happen if you didn't know the difference between wine and oral sex? #wine #existentialism #isthishowyouusetwitter?