aspiring unpaid buzzfeed contributor

Joined December 2025
One thing about having kids is it sucks so bad omg.
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chat bbb how i get booze money from having kids
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HOA just called to tell me I’m a little bitch???
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9 kinda hurt my feelings earlier so I reminded him he only exists because daddy wanted an online aesthetic.
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I’m the dad guy. retweeted
My wife: Can you take the baby for a walk Me: I can generate a video of him outside My wife: He needs fresh air Me: I can add a fan
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I’m the dad guy. retweeted
i was genuinely meant to be a deadbeat middle aged alcoholic father but instead i got stuck as a young woman
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I’m the dad guy. retweeted
Show back up hammered to pick them up. Fight the coach
Do your kid a favor. Drop them off at practice. Go grab a beer.
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Computer show me how cool I’d look with a tattoo of a lion.
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[divorce court (I’m losing)] your honor that was rage bait.
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The children have gone no contact with my voice model.
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Grok why does the claude I trained to talk to my kids keep slurring?
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If you spin kick a dad at a hardcore show his divorce papers fly out of his pockets like Sonic rings
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Acting jealous and weird when I sense one of the other dads is drunker than me at the little league tournament.
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Taking the kids trick or treating as three bottles of whiskey in a guy.
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Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Post like your kids won’t go no contact.
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Air frying my beard later.
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I secretly pull one of my kids aside every few months to tell them that their sibling is my favorite.
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135
Accidentally admitted I enjoy my family around the other parentfluencers and one of them bit off my acl.
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Woke up in a ditch covered in piss. Last thing I remember was the dad next door buying a bigger mower than me.
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119
*poking my idiot child with a stick* say something viral.
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