Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey) header
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haven’t worked it out in the first 40 years, hope I will in the next

England, Reading
Joined May 2009
Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)Photo by Cynical Monkey (@cynicalmonkey)
in 8 days I built a prototype solo that I couldn't of dreamed of making when I started learning to Dev cynicalmonkey.itch.io/space-… #madewithunity #gamedev #prototype
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The Fabelmans has a moment in it that made me genuinely laugh out loud and is one of the top 5 4th wall breaks ever.
one sip of rum and coke and i start yelling at people in the bar for letting two of spielberg's greatest flop
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It’s not even August bank holiday yet
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Thanks to Rhett from GMM I know that the medals this year contain’s iron from the Eiffel Tower. The tower has 7300 tons of metal in it. There is 244k tons of known gold in the world. So more than 3 times as rare and completely unique to these olympics.
Olympic gold medals 1908: 100% gold 2024: 1% gold
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Naughty Lass
What's a cool name for an Undead Diver who preys on anyone who enters his Secret Underwater Lair? 🪸
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In 2018 I (vaguely) predicted both Flashpoint and Deadpool & Wolverine.
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why are there so many groups of 4 that are "3 men-1 woman" but there is no groups of 4 that are "3 women-1 man"
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I think “the Jedi’s are the least interesting thing about Star Wars” is the least interesting take you can have. Like what is the most interesting thing to those people? You might as well be saying “jumping is the least interesting thing about Mario”
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Imagine being the next to take on managing England. What a poisoned chalice. Taking on a squad getting knocked out in group stages and R16 and putting in the most successful run by an England manager for 58 years ( 4th place, runner up, QF, runner up) while fans think you suck
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All streaming services should offer a “comfort shuffle bus” list where you can pick upto ten shows to add and it only ever plays them on shuffle.
I wish @DisneyPlus would add a "randomise" button here for The Simpsons. I miss the element of surprise not knowing what episode was about to air on TV
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Can’t wait for the first centrist ‘think piece’ that makes it somehow Corbyn’s fault Labour had less than 10mil votes
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Aren’t all shoes 2 for the price of 1
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Struggling to remember the last time I watched a 90 minute movie. Everything feels like 2-3hrs as standard. Honestly being only 90 mins long would make me choose a movie at this point. You mean I could watch 2 movies back to back without thinking about when I would fit a meal in?
"Horizon" star Michael Rooker says audiences have to "get over that [TikTok] crap" and "learn how to watch real cinema" after Kevin Costner's epic misfired. “It’s real cinema, folks. Be prepared. We ain’t used to that sh*t. We’re used to 90 minute movies. Everything is 90 minutes. Give me a break. Get over that shit. Let’s watch a movie that actually tells a story where you learn about the people and grow to like them or hate them. It’s not all fast and cut, cut cut.” Read more here: variety.com/2024/film/news/h…
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Japanese gin says Trans Rights are Human Rights
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Wake up babe, Scottish Spider-Man just dropped. Spins a web any size, catches thieves, up near Fife. Look out for Scottish Spider-Man!
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Your fave could never
Unfortunately, a tabloid newspaper has got hold of a music video I recorded in Islington North with an iconic grime artist I've admired for years. They are planning to publish a heavily edited clip, so I'm releasing the full version myself. Watch here: tinyurl.com/yeymfb96
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Not sure how I feel about the David The Gnome reboot!
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England fans untied across the country asking Alexa what club Brandon Sanderson played for #EURo2024
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A funny thing about Animal Farm but in 1792 when animals actually took over running a farm was they did a terrible job running it and the pigs weren’t even the ones in charge……
I despise Lord of the Flies with a burning passion but it’s obviously an allegory you stupid nitwit
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Britain
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I think the national service idea designed to try and fix a broken Tory party. They know it’s a sinking ship steered by the most right leaning of the party. So campaign on all their talking points knowing you are going to suffer the biggest loss so you never have to again.
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