❛ ── 𝓔𝐝𝐠𝐚𝐫. ೄ

⠀ 𒍦 ❛ 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝘆! 𝗪𝗲'𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘄𝗲𝗯 𝗼𝗳 . . ˊˎ- ᅠ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ an indie portrayal of edgar from edgar + ellen. ➴҉ ᅠ -ˏˋ . . 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙮. ❜ 𒍧 ⠀

⠀ ❝Ready for your meal time? What do you want? Left . . uh, hand tentacle thing for 𝙚𝙜𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣, right for 𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨.❞ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀✎ ⨾ ─ PET LORE. HOLY SHIT. ⠀

⠀ ❝Good morning, Pet! Still sleepy, huh?❞ ⠀

⠀ [That thing is 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 alive?] ⠀

⠀ [Edgar immediately drops his satchel and covers his ears with his hands, falling to his knees and full-on grimacing. That is NOT singing. Not in the slightest.]

⠀ ❝If you care about your sense of hearing AT ALL, do 𝙉𝙊𝙏 let my sister sing within one-hundred feet of you.❞

⠀ ❝You’re the one who brought her up.❞

⠀ ❝NO! NOOOOOOO!!!❞ [Scrambling hectically through his satchel.] ❝I NEED TIME TO PREPAAAAARE!❞

⠀ ❝Both our parents are dead.❞

⠀ [OH. OH, THE 𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙍𝙊𝙍. The word alone causes him whiplash, orbs widening as he took a step back.] ❝Tell me when. I need to get my soundproof headphones ready.❞

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀✎ ⨾ ─ listen. they both don’t favor cleanliness, but with edgar, there is a LIMIT.

⠀ ❝How can I accept it when I’m forced to 𝙇𝙄𝙑𝙀 in it?❞ [A scowl ensues, already beginning to form a scheme in his mind.]

⠀ ❝ELLEN. I took the initiative and gave Pet a bath, even though it was YOUR turn to! The 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙩 you can do as a ‘𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂’ is take one yourself. You’re starting to kill your own plants with that smell.❞

⠀ [And that’s his cue to wrap the little thing up in a dry, fuzzy towel! A hand reaching out to gently ruffle the top of Pet’s head.] ❝I’m so proud of you! Now, you know not to disobey since misbehaving won’t bring you any rewards!❞

⠀ ❝I don’t think so, 𝙥𝙪𝙯𝙯𝙡𝙚-𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙. If all else fails, which it will, blame the prankster and NOT the prank.❞

⠀ ❝𝙉𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙟𝙤𝙗 announcing your prank, you amateur. Now, I know to be alert and see you coming!❞

⠀ ❝I’m not quite done with it yet, but I’m not against you taking it for a test drive.❞ [Reaching into that infamous satchel, Edgar pulls out a tube marked ‘𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑’ with a skull and crossbones drawn on it.]

⠀ ❝Still bitter about the last time we’ve crossed paths? Pranks are never harmful, just for a few laughs~.❞

⠀ ❝With this formula, I can convert it into an average tube of toothpaste. That way, when you brush, your teeth will shrink overnight.❞

⠀ ❝We never left~.❞