Dear Michelle Obama. Let me school your miserable muthafuckin ass since you can’t seem to remember how blessed you are. You are married to the first Black president in American history. You are the first Black First Lady in American history. Because of that, you and Barack left the White House richer than when yall slithered into it. Because of that, your Black ass got a multi-million-dollar book deal. Because of that, you and your FAKE ASS HUSBAND walked away with a $60 million Netflix deal. Because of that, yall own mansions. Because of that, yall own beachfront property. Because of that, yalls kids and grandkids are set for life. Because of ALL OF THAT, your family’s net worth is over $100 million. And yet you got the muthafuckin nerve to still get on stage whining like you picking cotton in 1855 instead of sipping champagne in Martha’s Vineyard. No Black American woman will ever be as privileged as you are bitch. So sit your ungrateful, race-hustling ass down and thank the country you spent 8 years shitting on. America gave you EVERYTHING. The least you could do is shut the fuck up and smile, ho.